When we think of creativity, we envision vibrant colors, uplifting melodies, and inspiring words. But what about the raw and unfiltered emotions that fuel the artistic fire? What about the moments of anguish, heartbreak, and despair that bring forth masterpieces that touch our souls? Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the dark side—the underbelly of creativity.
It’s no secret that many creative geniuses throughout history have grappled with inner demons. From Vincent van Gogh’s tormented paintings to Sylvia Plath’s haunting poetry, we see that creativity and suffering often dance hand in hand. But why does this dark undercurrent exist? And can we embrace it as a source of inspiration and growth?
The truth is that the creative process is a reflection of the human experience. It is a journey that transcends the mundane and reaches deep into the core of our being. Within that journey, we encounter both light and darkness. It is through embracing and exploring these shadows that we unlock a profound well of artistic depth.
Consider the iconic works of Edgar Allan Poe. His tales of macabre and despair captivate us with their haunting beauty. Poe’s ability to delve into the darkest corners of the human psyche allowed him to create timeless masterpieces that continue to enthrall readers today. By fearlessly exploring the dark side, he tapped into a wellspring of creativity that resonates with our own inner struggles.
But embracing the dark side of creativity is not about wallowing in despair or glorifying pain. It’s about acknowledging the complexity of human emotions and using them as a catalyst for transformative art. It’s about digging deep into our own experiences, both light and dark, and channeling them into a creative outlet.
The process of harnessing the darkness is not an easy one. It requires vulnerability, self-reflection, and courage. It means confronting our fears, doubts, and insecurities head-on. It means embracing the parts of ourselves that we often try to hide away. But within this journey lies the potential for profound personal growth and artistic breakthroughs.
As creators, we have the unique ability to transmute our pain into something beautiful. Our art becomes a vehicle for catharsis—a release of pent-up emotions, a way to process the complexities of life. It allows us to connect with others on a deep and empathetic level, reassuring them that they are not alone in their struggles.
So please don’t shy away from the shadows. Embrace the dark side of your creativity. Allow it to guide you on a transformative journey of self-discovery and expression. Take those moments of anguish and turn them into fuel for your art. Let your vulnerability shine through your work, for it is in that rawness that you create something truly authentic and resonant.
It’s okay to embrace the darkness, as long as you don’t let it consume you. Seek support from loved ones, fellow artists, or even professional resources if you find yourself overwhelmed. Surround yourself with a community that understands and supports your artistic process.
Until next time, keep creating, keep exploring, and remember—within the shadows lies the potential for extraordinary artistry.
Tag: Reflections
Inkrement #23 The Ripple Effect: The Positive Impact of Building a Support System
Life can and will throw some curveballs our way. And when those tough times hit, having people who genuinely care about us can make all the difference. Today, I want to share a personal story that taught me firsthand how building a support system can positively impact every aspect of our lives.
It was a few months ago, the day after my birthday, when something unexpected happened. I had been battling with depression and it was kicking my ass. On that particular day, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to respond to any of the birthday calls or texts I received. I was caught in a dark cloud that seemed impossible to escape. Little did I know, my sister, father, and niece were planning a surprise visit that would change my perspective.
My family has always been there for me, but depression has a way of making you believe you’re utterly alone, even when you’re not. As the day wore on, I isolated myself from the world, drowning in self-doubt and sadness. The weight of my emotions kept me from appreciating the love and care that surrounded me.
Unbeknownst to me, my sister had sensed my struggles and rallied the troops. She reached out to my father and convinced him to make the hour long trip with my niece. They knew I needed them, even if I didn’t realize it myself. That morning, they arrived at my doorstep, armed with birthday balloons, warm hugs, and an abundance of love.
When I opened the door and saw their familiar faces, tears streamed down my cheeks. It was in that moment that the ripple effect of building a support system became evident. Their unwavering support and their willingness to be there for me reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Their actions sent ripples through my life, touching every aspect in a profound and positive way.
Emotionally, I felt a burden being lifted from my shoulders. The weight of depression felt a little lighter knowing that I had people in my corner who genuinely cared about my well-being. Their presence alone gave me a glimmer of hope that I could overcome the darkness I was facing.
Physically, the visit energized me. We spent hours in my backyard having candid conversations about whatever came to mind. The familiar sound of laughter and casual jokes brought back a sense of normalcy and reminded me of the joy that existed beyond my inner turmoil.
Mentally, their visit was a breath of fresh air. We sat around the living room, sharing stories and memories, reminding me of the countless adventures we had experienced together. Their words and presence brought a renewed sense of purpose and reminded me of the things that truly mattered in life.
Professionally, their visit had a surprising effect as well. While writing was the furthest thing from my mind, their support and encouragement ignited a spark within me. They reminded me of my passion for storytelling, and their belief in my abilities helped me regain the confidence to pursue my dreams once more. After that, I began working on the novel idea that’s been in my head for years. It was also then that I decided to start this blog.
Their visit not only impacted me directly but also had a ripple effect on the people around me. Witnessing my family’s love and support, my friends and acquaintances began to open up about their own struggles, creating a sense of community and understanding. We formed a network of support, each one of us contributing to the positive change in one another’s lives.
Reflecting on that transformative visit, I realized the profound impact that building a support system can have. It’s so easy to forget that we are not alone in our struggles, but when we allow others to be there for us, it not only lightens our own burden but also inspires others to seek help and support.
Building a support system starts with opening up, sharing our vulnerabilities, and allowing others to lend a helping hand. It requires trust, empathy, and genuine care. It’s about fostering meaningful connections and recognizing that we all need each other to navigate life’s challenges. We also have to remember that building a support system is a reciprocal process. Just as you seek support, be ready to offer it as well. Be the cheerleader, the listener, and the pillar of strength for others. Celebrate their victories and lend a helping hand during their challenges. By giving, you create a culture of support and kindness that will always come back to you when you need it most.
To anyone out there who may be going through a tough time, my advice is simple: reach out. Don’t be afraid to let others in. Seek comfort in the company of loved ones, friends, or even support groups. Remember that you are not alone, and your struggles do not define you.
The ripple effect of building a support system cannot be underestimated. Through my own experience, I discovered the profound impact that love, care, and understanding can have on every aspect of our lives. We all have the power to create positive change, not only within ourselves but also in the lives of those around us. So, let’s be there for one another, lending an ear, a shoulder, or a helping hand. Together, we can make a difference.
Inkrement #21 – A Playlist for the Love I Desire
Writing Prompt: Create a playlist of songs that capture the essence of the relationship you desire. Write a reflection on each song, explaining why it resonates with your vision.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
“Knock You Down” by Keri Hilson, Ne-yo & Kanye West
Love has the power to knock us down, to make us feel vulnerable and exposed. It’s in those moments of raw emotion that true connection is forged. I crave a love that has the strength to touch my soul, to make me feel alive and understood. “Knock You Down” reminds me that the depth of emotions that love can evoke is what truly makes a relationship extraordinary.
But it’s not just about the intensity of emotions; it’s about resilience and support. Life is full of challenges, and relationships are no exception. The song reminds me that even in the face of adversity, love can be a beacon of strength, pushing us to rise above our struggles. I long for a partner who will stand by my side, offering unwavering support and encouragement as we navigate life’s ups and downs together. The idea that love can empower us to overcome obstacles and thrive is at the heart of the relationship I desire.
“Knock You Down” emphasizes the importance of mutual admiration. It’s not just about being infatuated with someone; it’s about truly seeing and appreciating them for who they are. I crave a love where there’s a profound respect for each other’s individuality and a genuine admiration for the qualities that make us unique. I want a partner who recognizes my strengths, lifts me up, and inspires me to become the best version of myself.
I think what I appreciate most about this song is its realistic portrayal of love. It acknowledges that relationships aren’t always smooth sailing. They have their share of challenges and complexities. But through it all, love remains a driving force, compelling us to keep going. I desire a love that is authentic, one that recognizes the imperfections and embraces the journey with all its ups and downs. Because it’s in the imperfect moments that we find the most beautiful and genuine connections.
“After All Is Said & Done” by Beyonce & Marc Nelson
When I listen to this song, I can’t help but feel this incredible connection to the lyrics. It’s like they were written specifically for the kind of love I yearn for. It delves into the depths of love, acknowledging that it’s not always a smooth ride. It captures the complexities and challenges that couples may face, which is so important to me. I believe that true love isn’t always easy, but it’s worth fighting for.
You see, this song embodies the essence of my ideal relationship. It acknowledges that there will be hardships, tears, and even moments where forgiveness seems impossible. But through it all, there’s an unwavering commitment to stand by each other. That’s the kind of love I desire – a love that’s strong enough to weather any storm that comes our way.
One of the lyrics that resonates deeply with me is when they sing, “I’ll never be afraid to say I need you.” It’s a beautiful expression of vulnerability and emotional openness, something I believe is crucial in a relationship. I want a love where I can be my authentic self and not be afraid to admit when I need my partner by my side. That level of trust and communication is what builds a strong foundation.
When I listen to “You and I,” it’s like John Legend reached into my soul and plucked out my deepest desires. This song speaks to the core of what I long for in a relationship. It’s all about that unbreakable bond. The kind that withstands the storms, the heartaches, and all the twists and turns life throws at you.
“You and I” celebrates the strength of love, the kind that makes you feel invincible. It’s like finding that person who becomes your rock, your sanctuary, and your safe haven. It’s that profound sense of devotion and support, the feeling that no matter what, they’ll always be there for you. That’s the kind of love I crave, the kind that builds you up and helps you conquer your fears.
But what I love most about this song is how it speaks to real-life experiences. It captures those moments that we’ve all longed for—the desire for a love that lasts, that stands the test of time. It’s like it’s saying, “Hey, love is worth fighting for, and it’s possible to find that deep connection with someone special.”
And you know what else? It reminds us that when life throws its curveballs, we don’t have to face them alone. “You and I” emphasizes the beauty of two individuals joining forces, standing shoulder to shoulder, and taking on life’s challenges as an unbreakable team. It’s that feeling of having a partner who has your back no matter what. A love that’s built on trust, understanding, and unity.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
I chose this writing prompt because music has always been a powerful way for me to express my emotions and desires. It’s like the lyrics and melodies have this uncanny ability to tap into the depths of my soul and bring my vision to life. I believe that songs can be like windows into the heart, reflecting our deepest longings and hopes.
The songs I listed doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of my love song playlist. But these songs in particular resonate with my vision of a relationship because they embody the raw emotions, the triumphs, and the complexities that come with love. They remind me that love is not always smooth sailing, but it’s the willingness to face the ups and downs together that truly defines a relationship. These songs capture the essence of the love I desire—a love that is passionate, enduring, and rooted in unwavering support. They are the soundtrack to my hopes and dreams, and they inspire me to keep believing in the power of love, even in the face of adversity.
The titles link to lyric videos on YouTube in case you want to take a listen.
Inkrement #19 – Reflections on Acts of Self-Care
Writing Prompt: Write a reflection on acts of self-care and self-compassion that contribute to your self-worth. Explore how engaging in these acts enhances your capacity for healthy relationships.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It’s funny how life works sometimes. You spend so much time worrying about other people’s needs, their happiness, and their well-being, that you forget to take care of yourself. I was always taught the importance of teamwork, of sacrificing for the greater good of the team or for family. But somewhere along the way, I forgot that I am part of that team too, and I need to take care of myself in order to be the best version of me. That’s when acts of self-care and self-compassion entered my life, becoming essential ingredients that contribute to my self-worth.
For the longest time, I thought that self-care was just about bubble baths, wine and swedish massages, things that seemed extravagant and indulgent. But I’ve come to realize that self-care is so much more than that. It’s about taking the time to check in with myself, to listen to my body and my mind, and to give them what they need to thrive. It’s about understanding that my needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.
One of the acts of self-care that has become an important part of my routine is daily meditation. It’s a fairly simple practice. Just sitting in silence, focusing on my breathing, and allowing myself to be fully present in the moment. It’s during these moments of stillness that I connect with my inner self, gaining clarity and perspective on my life. Meditation has taught me the power of self-awareness, of being in tune with my emotions and thoughts. By understanding myself better, I can go into the world with greater compassion and empathy, both towards myself and others.
One of the most transformative acts of self-care I have started practicing again is writing. Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), allowing the words to flow freely, is like embarking on a journey of self-discovery. It is a cathartic release, a sacred conversation with my own soul. Through writing, I have been learning to give a voice to my thoughts and emotions, to make sense of the chaos within. This act of self-expression allows me to acknowledge and validate my own experiences, fostering a sense of self-worth that is independent of external validation.
An important step I have taken to become more self-compassionate and foster healthier relationships is establishing boundaries. It took me a while to realize that it’s okay to say no, to prioritize my own needs and well-being. I still struggle with being a people pleaser, always putting others before myself, afraid of disappointing or letting them down. But I know that in doing so, I neglect my own boundaries and sacrificing my own happiness. Learning to set boundaries has been a transformative act of self-compassion. It’s about recognizing my limits, honoring my values, and communicating my needs assertively and respectfully. By being firm with my limits, I am true to myself in the relationships I’m in, promoting mutual respect and healthier connections.
Engaging in acts of self-care and self-compassion is not only contributing to my self-worth but has also had a major impact on my relationships. When I take care of myself, when I prioritize my own well-being, I am able to show up as a more present and wholehearted friend and family member. I have more energy, more love to give, and a greater capacity to support and uplift those around me. Now, don’t get me wrong. Of course, this isn’t a cure-all for all the challenges we face in relationships. They won’t make all of your troubles disappear or guarantee a perfect life. However, what they can offer is a strong base that you can use to strengthen and care for your relationships.
These acts not only enhance my capacity for healthy relationships but also allow me to navigate life with a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. As I continue to cultivate self-care and self-compassion, I am reminded that taking care of myself is not a selfish act but a necessary one. It is the foundation upon which I build my relationships, my dreams, and my life. As I reflect on my own journey, I realize that I’m still a work in progress. There are days when I falter, when I forget to put myself first or when I neglect my own boundaries. But I’ve come to understand that self-care is a lifelong practice, a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. And with each step I take, I become more attuned to my own needs and more capable of fostering the kind of relationships that bring joy, love, and fulfillment into my life.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
I chose this writing prompt because it really hits home for me. As someone who has struggled with self-worth and maintaining healthy relationships in the past, I’ve come to understand the importance of self-care and self-compassion. It’s something that my therapist drills into my head after every session. It’s something that I’m actively working on in my own life, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the impact it has had on me.
Inkrement #17: Lessons Learned from Ignoring Red Flags
Writing Prompt: Reflect on a past relationship where you ignored your intuition and the consequences that followed. Write a personal essay discussing what you learned from this experience and how it has influenced your trust in your intuition.
————————————————————————————–
Intuition knows when something is wrong. It’s our internal compass guiding us through life’s twists and turns. But what happens when we choose to ignore it? My world was already crumbling, and I couldn’t wrap my head around dealing with another crushing blow. By burying my doubts, I unknowingly set myself up for even greater devastation. In this personal essay, I want to share my experience of staying in a relationship, although I knew deep down I should’ve ended it.
I remember the moment I discovered my partner’s infidelity. It was days before my mother’s passing and my aunt’s death, three days after her funeral. During that time, I found myself torn between emotions I couldn’t fully process. My focus shifted to grieving for my loved ones, and my partner’s betrayal took a backseat in my overwhelmed mind. The world became a blur of funeral arrangements, tears, and unanswered questions. I knew the situation was fucked up, but I didn’t want to face the reality.
Grief messes with our heads, you know? It makes us do things we’ll kick ourselves for later. Amid my life falling apart, I brushed off those little gut feelings nudging me. I was like, “No way, I can’t handle any more shit right now.” I figured I’d tackle the relationship mess once the grief storm blew over. But little did I know, my intuition was getting restless, craving my attention. I stumbled through each day, time turning into a blur of chaos. Sure, my partner felt horrible and tried to make things right, but that nagging feeling in my gut just wouldn’t quit. We had agreed to start fresh and with no more solid evidence, I was stuck in a constant state of uncertainty, unable to trust his words.
Red flags, like seeds planted in the soil of our intuition, sprout into undeniable truths. They poke through the surface, demanding our attention, but we often brush them aside in favor of our comfort zone. I found myself trapped in a cycle of ignoring the warning signs that continued to present themselves. The red flags kept waving, but he skillfully sidestepped them, weaving a web of deception with his words. Finances can be a powerful force, shaping our decisions and trapping us in situations we want desperately to escape. With the cost of living skyrocketing, the thought of leaving the relationship became an unattainable joke. My job didn’t pay enough to live on my own. I didn’t have my parents’ home for refuge. My friends had their own lives and struggles to battle, so I didn’t want to be a burden to them or anyone else. I believed that staying was my only option. So I bit my tongue and tolerated the bullshit as I applied for hundreds of better-paying jobs. But as the years passed, the emotional toll grew heavier, and I withdrew into myself. My silence became a self-imposed prison. The weight of how I should’ve handled the situation trapped me. It clouded my view of a better future. Concealing my misery was a daily battle for normalcy.
You know how life works, right? Truth appears humorously at the right moment. Earlier this year, I had that moment. My partner and best friend kept an enormous secret from me. They had a one-night stand. Talk about a betrayal that cuts deep. It felt like someone took a butcher’s knife and stabbed it right into my heart, opening up all those old wounds and making me regret everything. My intuition had been screaming at me to wake up and smell the coffee, but I had let my fears, regrets, and financial situation blind me. Ignoring my gut had cost me years of happiness, authenticity, and self-respect.
After the whole truth came crashing down on me, I needed to find some sort of comfort. So, I turned to therapy and creative writing prompts for solace. It was during those moments of deep thought and self-reflection that I had a revelation. My gut feeling, my intuition, it was never wrong. The problem was me — I ignored it and refused to take action, and that’s what led me straight into a world of heartache and regret. If only I had trusted my instincts from the very beginning, I could have spared myself years of pain. But hey, no use crying over spilled milk, right? Instead, I’m making it my mission to focus on the most valuable lesson I’ve learned: listen to my intuition the very first time it whispers a warning. I’m embracing that little voice inside me and learning to heed its advice, even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Trusting my intuition has become an essential part of taking care of myself and growing as a person. It’s non-negotiable now.
As I reflect on the last three months since shit hit the fan, I acknowledge the pain and regret that accompany the choice to ignore my intuition. Life’s journey teaches us many lessons. Some learned through triumph. Others through regret. Not acting on my instincts in my last relationship tested my resilience and self-worth, but it also taught me the importance of self-trust.
While I can’t change the past, I can shape my future by embracing my intuition as a guiding force from here on out. I share my story, hoping others may find peace and inspiration in their own struggles. Please trust yourself and honor your inner voice. It knows what is best for you, even when things seem impossible. Follow your heart and learn from your experiences.
I chose this prompt because it hits close to home. We all have that little voice inside us, that gut feeling telling us when something isn’t quite right. And let me tell you, I ignored that voice in a last relationship, and Lord, did it come back to bite me. So, when I saw this prompt, it immediately resonated with me. Since I’m in a significantly better headspace right now, I wanted to write a personal essay about this experience. It’s embarrassing that I put myself in this predicament, but it is my life and I have to own up to it. Not only to hold myself accountable, but also to share what I’ve learned with others. Trusting our intuition is no joke, and I wanted to dive deep into how ignoring it affected me and how it’s permanently changed my perspective on listening to that inner voice.
Inkrement #16 – Simply the Best
The recent news of the passing of the legendary Rock & Roll icon, Tina Turner, at the age of 83 has deeply impacted music lovers across the world. As someone who has been influenced by her incredible talent and resilience throughout my life, I felt compelled to reflect on her remarkable journey. From the haunting melody of “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” that played in the background of my childhood to the powerful anthem “I Don’t Wanna Fight” that still resonates with me today, Tina Turner’s music has always been a constant presence.
Tina Turner was more than just an iconic singer and performer; she was a force to be reckoned with. Her ability to turn personal pain into something transcendent showcased her resilience and indomitable spirit. Despite enduring unspeakable challenges throughout her life, she refused to let her pain define her. Instead, she harnessed her anguish as a catalyst for personal transformation, inspiring millions around the world.
Tina Turner’s early memories of picking cotton as a child, coupled with feelings of abandonment and being unloved by her parents, painted a difficult picture of her formative years. Surviving a volatile and abusive relationship added to her burdens. Yet, throughout it all, Tina Turner’s resilience and determination to overcome prevailed. Her journey from these painful beginnings to becoming a middle-aged black woman who made her mark as the Queen of Rock & Roll is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity to rise above adversity.
One of the most inspiring aspects of Tina’s story for me is the love and fulfillment she found later in life. After facing numerous challenges and triumphing over personal struggles, she discovered peace and genuine love with someone who adored her unconditionally. This profound love story brought immeasurable joy and contentment to her life, proving that true greatness and contentment can be achieved at any stage. Tina Turner’s experience challenges the belief that success and happiness must be attained within certain age limits or predetermined timelines. Her story encourages us to embrace the unexpected turns and twists that life presents. It’s okay if we haven’t achieved our dreams or found our purpose by a certain age. The path to self-discovery and fulfillment can be nonlinear, and each stage of life offers unique opportunities for growth and transformation. Tina’s life exemplifies the importance of perseverance, resilience, and remaining open to new possibilities.
Tina’s ability to turn her pain into something magical and beautiful continues to inspire many, including myself. It’s with this inspiration in mind that I started this blog. In time, I want to be able to provide solace, tools, and hope to those facing trauma. Tina’s legacy serves as a reminder of the need for diverse voices and stories of triumph over hardship. Together, we can build a resilient community founded on mutual support, where people can find strength and renewed hope as they navigate their own transformative journeys.
The world has lost an icon in Tina Turner, but her legacy will forever resonate through her music, her story, and the transformative power of her journey. As we remember her, let us carry her spirit of resilience, transformation, and unwavering pursuit of happiness with us. By embracing our own pain and using it as a catalyst for personal growth, we too can turn our lives into something magical and beautiful.
Rest in Power, Queen ❤
Inkrement #15 – Unplugging for Mental Wellness: My Digital Detox Journey to Self-Compassion
Writing prompt: Describe a self-care ritual that helps you combat self-criticism and fosters self-compassion. Write a step-by-step guide on how to engage in this ritual, highlighting its benefits for emotional well-being.
———————–
Today, I want to share a self-care ritual that helps me out when I feel my inner-critic starting to get the best of me. Picture this: a break from Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and all other social media. An opportunity to rediscover yourself, and an opportunity to prioritize your mental well-being. For this entry, I’ll let you know the steps of my own digital detox journey, sharing the tips and lessons I learned along the way.
Step 1: Understand the Benefits of a Digital Detox
First things first, let’s clarify what a digital detox is all about. It’s a conscious decision to disconnect from the digital realm, particularly social media platforms, for a specified period. It’s a chance to step away from the constant comparison, pressure, and noise of the online world. But why is it needed for our mental health? Constant exposure to social media can trigger self-criticism, feelings of inadequacy, and a distorted sense of reality. Stepping away allows us to take back our time, regain a sense of balance, and care for ourselves.
Step 2: Acknowledge the Need for Change
For me, the journey started with admitting the toll social media was taking on my mental health. I noticed the inner-critic growing louder, comparing my life to picture-perfect posts of my friends, wondering where I went wrong in my life, and questioning my own worth. It was time for change—a time to prioritize my well-being, to listen to my intuition, and to find a healthier way to engage with the digital world.
Step 3: Set Clear Intentions
Before hastily deactivating all your accounts, take a moment to set clear intentions. Reflect on what you hope to gain from this experience. Is it a desire to cultivate self-compassion, regain a lease on life, or reconnect with your hobbies? Set your goals and keep them in mind as you get started.
Step 4: Decide Your Detox Timeframe
Figure out how long you want to step away from social media. It could be a few days, a week, or even longer. Trust your instincts and choose a timeframe that feels right for you. Keep in mind that this is your path, and there is no need to follow strict guidelines. Give yourself the liberty to experiment and figure out what works best for you.
Step 5: Communicate Your Detox
Let your loved ones and close friends know about your digital detox plans. Communicate your intentions, explain the purpose behind it, and ask for their support. Letting them know will reduce any feelings of guilt or FOMO (fear of missing out) and immerse yourself without distractions.
Step 6: Prepare for Temptations
Prepare yourself for potential temptations during your digital detox. Delete social media apps from your phone or mute notifications. Create a physical barrier between yourself and your devices, like keeping them in a different room or using a designated drawer. Creating boundaries will help you resist mindlessly scrolling and keep your detox on track.
Step 7: Explore Life Outside of the Screen
Step away from the screen and enjoy real-world experiences.. Reconnect with hobbies that ignite your passion and joy. Rediscover activities you’ve neglected or explore new ones that pique your interest. Dive into books, create art, practice mindfulness, engage in nature, cook new recipes, or go on a physical adventure. The options are endless! Allow yourself to be fully present in these real life moments. Enjoy connecting with yourself and the world.
Step 8: Practice Mindful Awareness
During your digital detox, take time to practice mindfulness. Tune into your thoughts and emotions, observing them without judgment. Notice the moments when self-criticism arises and shift your focus to self-compassion. Try different techniques like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling to nurture that feeling of serenity and contemplation.
Step 9: Cultivate Self-Compassion
As you detach from the digital world, take this opportunity to practice being kinder to yourself. Embrace the imperfections and celebrate your unique journey. Challenge your inner-critic with kind and encouraging pep-talks. Remind yourself that your worth extends far beyond the curated world of social media. Embrace self-acceptance, celebrate your accomplishments (big and small), and foster a loving relationship with yourself.
Step 10: Reflect and Integrate
When your digital detox comes to an end, take time to reflect on the experience. Journal about the insights, emotions, and any transformations you’ve encountered along the way. Celebrate your growth and self-love. Acknowledge the lessons learned and consider how you can integrate the positive aspects of your detox into your everyday life moving forward.
By consciously unplugging from the digital world, you can take a significant step toward combating self-criticism and nurturing self-compassion. Through this particular self-care ritual, I learned the importance of signing off to reconnect with myself, finding joy in offline hobbies, and being present in the moment. This is something I try to do at least one weekend a month. Setting boundaries, taking care of ourselves and staying mindful can truly make a difference in one’s mental well-being and to foster self-compassion.
————————–
I chose this prompt for several reasons. My therapist has been drilling in my head that I need to practice more self-care and give myself more grace when it comes to life events. This prompt encouraged me to ritualize a way to take care of myself and my overthinking tendencies. Writing out all the steps encouraged my self-awareness and mindfulness. Explaining the “how” and “why” of taking social media breaks helped me comprehend their long-term benefits. I also hope that this gives someone an idea for how they can handle things when the self doubts and criticism start becoming too much.
Inkrement #13
How therapy is helping me to practice self-compassion
I’ve always been a hard-on-myself kind of person. I’m my own worst critic, and I’m always striving to be better, do better, and be more. This can be a good thing or a very a bad thing. On the one hand, it motivates me to achieve my goals. On the other, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and perfectionism.
I started therapy a few years ago and went through it for about a year. Then again, when I found a new therapist two months ago. It’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My therapist is helping me to find the root of my self-critical tendencies, and she’s teaching me how to practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the ability to be kind and understanding towards ourselves, even and especially when we make mistakes. It’s about accepting ourselves for who we are. It’s about offering ourselves the same grace and understanding that we would offer a friend.
This has honestly been a game-changer for me. It’s helping me get a handle on my anxiety and depression, and it’s gradually helping me to improve my self-esteem. I’m working on being more patient with myself and not to beat myself up when I make mistakes.
If you struggle with self-criticism, I encourage you to consider therapy. It can be a powerful tool for healing and transformation.
Here are some of the things I’m learning about self-compassion in therapy:
- Being self-compassionate does not equate to being selfish or self-indulgent; it simply means giving ourselves the same kindness and understanding we would show a friend.
- Self-compassion isn’t about turning a blind eye to our pain or trying to bury our suffering. It’s about accepting it, embracing it, and providing ourselves with the solace and comfort we need.
- Self-compassion is not about being perfect. It’s about accepting ourselves for who we are, flaws and all.
Here are some tips for practicing self-compassion. I know that I struggle with these and it’s easier said than done, but making the attempt is what counts:
- Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend.
- Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t dwell on them. Learn from them and move on.
- Be patient with yourself. Change takes time. Don’t expect to be perfect overnight.
- Be grateful for yourself. Appreciate your strengths and accomplishments.
- Take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
Practicing self-compassion is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. When we show ourselves mercy, we are better able to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression. We are also more likely to be happy and fulfilled in our lives.
Inkrement #12
Writing Prompt: Write a letter to your younger self, acknowledging the ways you were criticized and the impact it had on you.
———————————-
To my younger self,
I’m writing this letter to you today to acknowledge the criticism that you endured and the impact it had on you. I know that the most insults and judgments thrown at you came from our mother. She would always pick apart your clothing with claims that you looked like a slut, your hair with claims that it looked unkempt, your friends with claims that they’re worthless, and your hobbies with claims that they’re childish. She tore down anything that brought you an iota of joy. And I know that it’s taken a toll on your self-esteem. I know it made you unsure of what you were supposed to enjoy or do with your life.
But I want you to know that her words are not a reflection of who you are or your worth as a person. I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for our mother’s insecurities or her need to control you. You are your own person. You deserve to be happy and pursue the things that put a smile on your face. You are unique and special, and your individuality is what makes you stand out. Don’t let anyone dim your light or make you feel worthless. Not even your family. You are capable of achieving greatness and I can’t wait to see all that you’ll accomplish in the years to come.
I know that you’re struggling right now. Life seems hopeless and unfair. But believe me when I say that things will get better. You will find your place in the world, and you will find people who love and support you for who you are. It’s okay to make mistakes. They’re a natural part of life and they’re what help us grow and learn. Please don’t be so hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. Those experiences can be opportunities to learn and improve.
It’s imperative to remember that you are not defined by anyone else’s opinions or expectations. You were not born to be your mother’s minion. You have the power to create your path and define your success. Pursue your passions, no matter how big or small they may seem. You’ll be amazed at the things you can achieve when you believe in yourself.
In the years to come, you’ll see that there is no specific way to live life. Everyone’s journey is different, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Embrace your journey and trust the process. Remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s okay to take your time to figure out what you want.
Writing this letter to you has made me realize how far I’ve come. It’s a reminder that despite the hardships, I’ve been able to overcome and achieve great things. I’m proud of the person I’ve become, and I’m proud of the person you will become.
So, to my beautiful, quirky, amazing younger self, keep your head up and keep pushing forward. You are capable of great things. I love you and I believe in you.
Signed,
Your future self
——————————-
I chose this prompt because it allowed me to reflect on my childhood and acknowledge the impact it had on me as an adult. It also allowed me to give advice and encouragement to my younger self, to say things I wish I heard more of as a young girl. Writing this letter helped me recognize the progress I’ve made, celebrate how far I’ve come, and realize how much work I still have to do.
Inkrement #10
Journal Prompt of the Day:
Imagine a future where you have fully healed from your trauma. What does that look like?
Imagine a future where you have fully healed from your trauma. What does that look like? For me, it’s a bright and hopeful vision that I’ve held onto for years, even when I thought healing was impossible.
Growing up with an emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive mother, I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. It wasn’t until I left home, experienced shitty situationships and found myself in bad predicaments that I realized how deeply my trauma had affected me. Even then, I knew it would be a long and difficult journey to healing.
But in this future that I imagine, I am finally free. I am free from the crippling anxiety that has plagued me for years, free from the fear that has held me back in relationships and work, and free from the emotional scars that have haunted me since childhood.
In this future, I wake up feeling rested and energized. The regrets, the should’ves, the could’ves, and the would’ves no longer keep me up at all hours of the night. I no longer carry the weight of the past on my shoulders, and I am able to approach each day with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. My relationships with family and friends are strong and meaningful, and I am able to trust and love freely. I’m not afraid to express my needs and wants, and I know that my friends will listen without judgment. I’m also in a loving, supportive, and healthy romantic relationship. I know that I’m worthy of love and respect, and I no longer settle for less than I deserve.
I am also thriving in my career. I have a job that is fulfilling and challenging, and I am able to use my experiences to help others who may be going through similar struggles. I no longer wake up dreading to clock in and counting the hours until I clock out. My creativity is flowing freely, and I am able to express myself fully through my work and my hobbies.
But I think most importantly, I am at peace with myself. I no longer feel like a victim of my past, but instead, I see my trauma as a source of strength. It has given me the resilience and determination to overcome obstacles and to pursue my dreams. I am proud of who I am and what I have achieved, and I am excited about the future.
Of course, healing is not an overnight process, and setbacks will happen. But in this future that I imagine, I am equipped with the tools and the support to navigate those challenges and triggers. I have a strong sense of self-awareness, and I am able to recognize and address any negative patterns or behaviors that may arise. I’ve also learned how to express my emotions in a healthy way, and I don’t feel like I’m bottling everything up inside.
I know that this future is not guaranteed, but I also know that it is possible. With continued work and dedication to my healing journey, I believe that I can reach this place of peace and joy. In my fully healed future, I’m not defined by my trauma. It’s a part of my story, but it’s not all of it. I’m able to look back on my experiences with a sense of gratitude and understanding. I know that my experiences has shaped me into the person I am today, and I’m proud of who I am.
As I write about my fully healed future, I’m filled with a sense of hope and optimism. I know that my healing journey won’t be easy, but I also know that it’s possible. I’m committed to doing the work and taking care of myself so that I can create the future that I’ve imagined. I know that I deserve to live a life that’s free from the weight of my past hurts, and I’m excited to see what the future holds.
Take some time to envision your healed future. Put pen to paper, blog your thoughts, or make a vision board – whichever works best for you – and imagine what a recovered version of yourself will look like on your journey.
Minor Inkrements 