Posted in Blog, Creative Writing, Depression, Mental Health, Personal, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #24: Shadows of Numbness

Writing Prompt: Describe the feeling of being numb in a poem about depression.
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In the hushed twilight of desolation’s grip,
I am an empty vessel, numbed to the core,
Adrift in the vast expanse of a desolate sea,
Where waves of despair crash upon my soul.

Once vibrant colors now dulled and faded,
Laughter’s melody echoes as a distant whisper,
And tears, imprisoned within weary eyes,
Long for release, but find only stifled cries.

The weight of melancholy settles upon my chest,
A leaden shroud, constricting every breath,
And the heart, once ablaze with fierce passion,
Now slumbers in the depths of sorrow’s embrace.

Days melt together in a monotonous haze,
As the world spins on, oblivious and indifferent,
And the rhythm of life’s symphony eludes me,
Lost in the dissonance of my fractured spirit.

Time stretches thin, like a taut thread of silk,
Bound tightly to the weight of unspoken words,
And the world marches forward, relentless,
While I stand frozen, a statue in the midst of life.

In the abyss of this numbing desolation,
I yearn for a glimmer, a spark of vitality,
To shatter the chains that bind my weary soul,
And set aflame the embers of hope once more.

But for now, I drift, a phantom of sorrow,
Inhabiting the spaces between forgotten dreams,
Longing for the sun’s caress to warm my spirit,
And breathe vibrancy into this colorless existence.

Posted in Blog, Depression, Family, Friendship, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #23 The Ripple Effect: The Positive Impact of Building a Support System

Life can and will throw some curveballs our way. And when those tough times hit, having people who genuinely care about us can make all the difference. Today, I want to share a personal story that taught me firsthand how building a support system can positively impact every aspect of our lives.

It was a few months ago, the day after my birthday, when something unexpected happened. I had been battling with depression and it was kicking my ass. On that particular day, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to respond to any of the birthday calls or texts I received. I was caught in a dark cloud that seemed impossible to escape. Little did I know, my sister, father, and niece were planning a surprise visit that would change my perspective.

My family has always been there for me, but depression has a way of making you believe you’re utterly alone, even when you’re not. As the day wore on, I isolated myself from the world, drowning in self-doubt and sadness. The weight of my emotions kept me from appreciating the love and care that surrounded me.

Unbeknownst to me, my sister had sensed my struggles and rallied the troops. She reached out to my father and convinced him to make the hour long trip with my niece. They knew I needed them, even if I didn’t realize it myself. That morning, they arrived at my doorstep, armed with birthday balloons, warm hugs, and an abundance of love.

When I opened the door and saw their familiar faces, tears streamed down my cheeks. It was in that moment that the ripple effect of building a support system became evident. Their unwavering support and their willingness to be there for me reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Their actions sent ripples through my life, touching every aspect in a profound and positive way.

Emotionally, I felt a burden being lifted from my shoulders. The weight of depression felt a little lighter knowing that I had people in my corner who genuinely cared about my well-being. Their presence alone gave me a glimmer of hope that I could overcome the darkness I was facing.

Physically, the visit energized me. We spent hours in my backyard having candid conversations about whatever came to mind. The familiar sound of laughter and casual jokes brought back a sense of normalcy and reminded me of the joy that existed beyond my inner turmoil.

Mentally, their visit was a breath of fresh air. We sat around the living room, sharing stories and memories, reminding me of the countless adventures we had experienced together. Their words and presence brought a renewed sense of purpose and reminded me of the things that truly mattered in life.

Professionally, their visit had a surprising effect as well. While writing was the furthest thing from my mind, their support and encouragement ignited a spark within me. They reminded me of my passion for storytelling, and their belief in my abilities helped me regain the confidence to pursue my dreams once more. After that, I began working on the novel idea that’s been in my head for years. It was also then that I decided to start this blog.

Their visit not only impacted me directly but also had a ripple effect on the people around me. Witnessing my family’s love and support, my friends and acquaintances began to open up about their own struggles, creating a sense of community and understanding. We formed a network of support, each one of us contributing to the positive change in one another’s lives.

Reflecting on that transformative visit, I realized the profound impact that building a support system can have. It’s so easy to forget that we are not alone in our struggles, but when we allow others to be there for us, it not only lightens our own burden but also inspires others to seek help and support.

Building a support system starts with opening up, sharing our vulnerabilities, and allowing others to lend a helping hand. It requires trust, empathy, and genuine care. It’s about fostering meaningful connections and recognizing that we all need each other to navigate life’s challenges. We also have to remember that building a support system is a reciprocal process. Just as you seek support, be ready to offer it as well. Be the cheerleader, the listener, and the pillar of strength for others. Celebrate their victories and lend a helping hand during their challenges. By giving, you create a culture of support and kindness that will always come back to you when you need it most.

To anyone out there who may be going through a tough time, my advice is simple: reach out. Don’t be afraid to let others in. Seek comfort in the company of loved ones, friends, or even support groups. Remember that you are not alone, and your struggles do not define you.

The ripple effect of building a support system cannot be underestimated. Through my own experience, I discovered the profound impact that love, care, and understanding can have on every aspect of our lives. We all have the power to create positive change, not only within ourselves but also in the lives of those around us. So, let’s be there for one another, lending an ear, a shoulder, or a helping hand. Together, we can make a difference.

Posted in Blog, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #5

I had every intention of posting a couple of entries last week. But I experienced a major depressive episode that almost got the best of me. This is my first time really writing about my depression on social media. It’s not something I’ve ever felt comfortable discussing with others, let alone sharing on such a public platform. But after struggling in silence, I realized that keeping it bottled up inside was only making things worse. It was time to break the silence and speak out. Plus, it’s part of the reason I started this blog to begin with.

I’ll admit, it’s scary as hell to post about this. I was afraid of being judged, of being labeled as weak or attention-seeking. But as I began to write, I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. It was like the words were finally giving shape to the jumbled mess of emotions that had been swirling inside me for so long.

As I hit the “post” button, my nerves almost made me keep this in the drafts. Would anyone really care? Would anyone respond? Would anyone understand? As I sit here, staring at my computer screen, my heart is pounding so hard that it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and remind myself why I’m doing this.

I was ashamed, embarrassed, and scared of what others would think of me if they found out. I didn’t want to be seen as weak or broken. So, I put on a brave face, smiled, and pretended that everything was okay, even when I was barely holding on. But the truth is, everything was not okay. I was struggling, and it was affecting every aspect of my life. I couldn’t concentrate at work, my relationships were suffering, and I felt like I was losing myself. There are so many misconceptions about depression. That’s it’s just feeling sad. But it’s so much deeper than that. It’s emptiness. It’s numbness. It’s no desire to do anything. Not eat. Not talk. Not move. Literally, there is no desire to do anything. It’s draining. It’s exhausting. It’s even worse when it feels like there’s no way to escape the darkness.

It wasn’t until I started opening up to a few close friends that I realized that there is a certain power in being vulnerable. When I finally admitted that I was struggling, that I needed help, something shifted. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And even though it was scary as hell to be so vulnerable, to admit that I wasn’t as strong as I wanted everyone to believe, it was also incredibly freeing.

Gradually, I came to understand that the people I love and who love me didn’t want me to deceive them with false positivity. Instead, they wanted me to open up and share my pain with them. They wanted to be there for me, giving me their backing and assistance when things got hard. Today, I am taking a step on the path to recovery by revealing my battle with depression online. It is disconcerting, yet also liberating. By being open and honest, I am allowing myself to be vulnerable, genuine and to accept my imperfections. I want to break the silence and stigma around mental health. I want others who are struggling to know that they are not alone, that there is help available, and that it’s okay to ask for it.

It will be difficult to open up about the struggles I have faced. I expect some will take one look at me and judge me without understanding my situation. But others who have encountered similar difficulties will offer their empathy and support. My truth may divide opinions, but if it puts a spotlight on the issues of broken dreams and unfulfilled potential, then every word will be worth it. Through my journey, I’ve discovered that being open and genuine are not failings. They are essential for healing, development, and making meaningful connections. Therefore, I’m choosing to be brave and share my narrative with everyone. By doing so, I hope to eliminate the misconceptions of mental health issues while motivating others to do the same..