Posted in Blog, Depression, Family, Friendship, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #23 The Ripple Effect: The Positive Impact of Building a Support System

Life can and will throw some curveballs our way. And when those tough times hit, having people who genuinely care about us can make all the difference. Today, I want to share a personal story that taught me firsthand how building a support system can positively impact every aspect of our lives.

It was a few months ago, the day after my birthday, when something unexpected happened. I had been battling with depression and it was kicking my ass. On that particular day, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to respond to any of the birthday calls or texts I received. I was caught in a dark cloud that seemed impossible to escape. Little did I know, my sister, father, and niece were planning a surprise visit that would change my perspective.

My family has always been there for me, but depression has a way of making you believe you’re utterly alone, even when you’re not. As the day wore on, I isolated myself from the world, drowning in self-doubt and sadness. The weight of my emotions kept me from appreciating the love and care that surrounded me.

Unbeknownst to me, my sister had sensed my struggles and rallied the troops. She reached out to my father and convinced him to make the hour long trip with my niece. They knew I needed them, even if I didn’t realize it myself. That morning, they arrived at my doorstep, armed with birthday balloons, warm hugs, and an abundance of love.

When I opened the door and saw their familiar faces, tears streamed down my cheeks. It was in that moment that the ripple effect of building a support system became evident. Their unwavering support and their willingness to be there for me reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Their actions sent ripples through my life, touching every aspect in a profound and positive way.

Emotionally, I felt a burden being lifted from my shoulders. The weight of depression felt a little lighter knowing that I had people in my corner who genuinely cared about my well-being. Their presence alone gave me a glimmer of hope that I could overcome the darkness I was facing.

Physically, the visit energized me. We spent hours in my backyard having candid conversations about whatever came to mind. The familiar sound of laughter and casual jokes brought back a sense of normalcy and reminded me of the joy that existed beyond my inner turmoil.

Mentally, their visit was a breath of fresh air. We sat around the living room, sharing stories and memories, reminding me of the countless adventures we had experienced together. Their words and presence brought a renewed sense of purpose and reminded me of the things that truly mattered in life.

Professionally, their visit had a surprising effect as well. While writing was the furthest thing from my mind, their support and encouragement ignited a spark within me. They reminded me of my passion for storytelling, and their belief in my abilities helped me regain the confidence to pursue my dreams once more. After that, I began working on the novel idea that’s been in my head for years. It was also then that I decided to start this blog.

Their visit not only impacted me directly but also had a ripple effect on the people around me. Witnessing my family’s love and support, my friends and acquaintances began to open up about their own struggles, creating a sense of community and understanding. We formed a network of support, each one of us contributing to the positive change in one another’s lives.

Reflecting on that transformative visit, I realized the profound impact that building a support system can have. It’s so easy to forget that we are not alone in our struggles, but when we allow others to be there for us, it not only lightens our own burden but also inspires others to seek help and support.

Building a support system starts with opening up, sharing our vulnerabilities, and allowing others to lend a helping hand. It requires trust, empathy, and genuine care. It’s about fostering meaningful connections and recognizing that we all need each other to navigate life’s challenges. We also have to remember that building a support system is a reciprocal process. Just as you seek support, be ready to offer it as well. Be the cheerleader, the listener, and the pillar of strength for others. Celebrate their victories and lend a helping hand during their challenges. By giving, you create a culture of support and kindness that will always come back to you when you need it most.

To anyone out there who may be going through a tough time, my advice is simple: reach out. Don’t be afraid to let others in. Seek comfort in the company of loved ones, friends, or even support groups. Remember that you are not alone, and your struggles do not define you.

The ripple effect of building a support system cannot be underestimated. Through my own experience, I discovered the profound impact that love, care, and understanding can have on every aspect of our lives. We all have the power to create positive change, not only within ourselves but also in the lives of those around us. So, let’s be there for one another, lending an ear, a shoulder, or a helping hand. Together, we can make a difference.

Posted in Blog, Family, Personal, Reflections, Relationships

Inkrement #3

“You your best thing.”

Toni Morrison – Beloved

Four simple words, but a power sentiment when you break it down. 

In case you’re not familiar with Toni Morrison’s works, Beloved is about a former slave named Sethe who is literally and emotionally haunted by memories of the daughter that she decided would be better off dead than taken into slavery to experience the same horrors she escaped. Years later, a mysterious young woman who calls herself Beloved shows up at her door, who Sethe believes is her daughter reincarnated. 

Heads up! Spoilers ahead if you haven’t read this captivating novel.

The book ends with Beloved disappearing after the neighborhood takes a stand to save Sethe from herself. Paul D comes to the home to find Sethe in bed, depressed and distraught over losing Beloved. She tells him that Beloved was her best thing. Paul D dismisses that statement and let her know “You your best thing, Sethe. You are.” 

Novel-wise, this is one of the most significant lines to be spoken. Sethe’s wrapped up her identity in her children. However, at the book’s conclusion, all the children have left the house. Her sons ran away, Denver found her independence, and Beloved has vanished. With those four simple words, Sethe realized she doesn’t have to be defined by her trauma. She deserves love and forgiveness, but she needs to offer herself the grace to accept it. Life transcends being a former slave and mother. Those four brief words empowered Sethe to live for herself from this point forward. 

This quote can also apply to our everyday lives. It serves as a reminder that it is okay to prioritize ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and to love ourselves so that we can continue being our own best things. It’s great to find love and bliss with our friends and family, but it is imperative to create our own happiness. Because once that relationship ends, whether by circumstances, choice, or force, you’ll only have yourself at the end of the day. 

Today, this quote holds more relevance to me. At this turning point in my life, I must strive to truly be myself. To know myself. To value myself for who I am and who I can become. We all should. 

What’s one of your favorite quotes? Please share in the comments where/who it’s from and why it’s memorable for you.

Posted in Blog, Family, Relationships

Inkrement #1

Sitting at my laptop to write this out, I feel a sense of vulnerability and fear. Sharing my personal story is not something that comes easily to me, but I know my journey may resonate with others who have experienced similar pain and trauma. I know that some of my relatives will not approve of me posting these entries and try to persuade me to delete this blog, claiming that it’s nobody’s business. But I have no shame in telling my story. My journey to heal from childhood and relationship trauma is new, but hope that my story can offer hope and encouragement to those who also struggle with similar issues while also showing that I’m not alone.

Growing up, I experienced verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse from my mother. My father did his best to protect me, but his desire to keep the peace in the household outweighed my need to be spared from her toxicity. Words can hurt more than physical actions, and the constant belittling and criticism left deep wounds that still haven’t healed in my 30+ years of being on this earth. I learned to internalize the negative messages and believed that no matter what I did, it would never be good enough. This gradually led to a severe lack of self-esteem and confidence that followed me into adulthood.

I found myself in relationships/situation-ships that quickly turned emotionally abusive. The constant manipulation, gaslighting, and accusations of betrayal left me feeling helpless and alone. I felt trapped in a cycle of abuse, unable to break free from the toxic patterns that had taken hold.

It wasn’t until I recently hit rock bottom with depression that I knew I needed to make a change. I’ll talk about the catalyst for this in another entry. Earlier this month, I found an amazing therapist to begin the healing process. I’m only a few sessions in, but it’s already been a painful and emotional journey. However, with each session, I am being enlightened and understand the patterns of abuse and trauma that had affected me for so long.

I started journaling to express my emotions and work through the pain. I found solace in creative writing and discovered that I could turn my experiences into something beautiful. Crafting and DIY projects also became a way for me to express myself and find happiness in the little things.

Slowly but surely, I will rebuild my sense of self and rediscover my worth. I know this journey will not be easy and there will be setbacks. But over time, I will learn to recognize the signs of abuse and to set boundaries to protect myself from repeating these hurtful cycles. It will also help to be surrounded by friends and family who support me. And while the scars from my past will always be there, I have no desire to allow them to define and control me any longer.