Category: Blog

Posted in Blog, Journaling, Personal, Reflections, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #10

Posted on by T.L. Minor

Journal Prompt of the Day:
Imagine a future where you have fully healed from your trauma. What does that look like?

Imagine a future where you have fully healed from your trauma. What does that look like? For me, it’s a bright and hopeful vision that I’ve held onto for years, even when I thought healing was impossible.

Growing up with an emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive mother, I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. It wasn’t until I left home, experienced shitty situationships and found myself in bad predicaments that I realized how deeply my trauma had affected me. Even then, I knew it would be a long and difficult journey to healing.

But in this future that I imagine, I am finally free. I am free from the crippling anxiety that has plagued me for years, free from the fear that has held me back in relationships and work, and free from the emotional scars that have haunted me since childhood.

In this future, I wake up feeling rested and energized. The regrets, the should’ves, the could’ves, and the would’ves no longer keep me up at all hours of the night. I no longer carry the weight of the past on my shoulders, and I am able to approach each day with a renewed sense of hope and purpose. My relationships with family and friends are strong and meaningful, and I am able to trust and love freely. I’m not afraid to express my needs and wants, and I know that my friends will listen without judgment. I’m also in a loving, supportive, and healthy romantic relationship. I know that I’m worthy of love and respect, and I no longer settle for less than I deserve.

I am also thriving in my career. I have a job that is fulfilling and challenging, and I am able to use my experiences to help others who may be going through similar struggles. I no longer wake up dreading to clock in and counting the hours until I clock out. My creativity is flowing freely, and I am able to express myself fully through my work and my hobbies.

But I think most importantly, I am at peace with myself. I no longer feel like a victim of my past, but instead, I see my trauma as a source of strength. It has given me the resilience and determination to overcome obstacles and to pursue my dreams. I am proud of who I am and what I have achieved, and I am excited about the future.

Of course, healing is not an overnight process, and setbacks will happen. But in this future that I imagine, I am equipped with the tools and the support to navigate those challenges and triggers. I have a strong sense of self-awareness, and I am able to recognize and address any negative patterns or behaviors that may arise. I’ve also learned how to express my emotions in a healthy way, and I don’t feel like I’m bottling everything up inside.

I know that this future is not guaranteed, but I also know that it is possible. With continued work and dedication to my healing journey, I believe that I can reach this place of peace and joy. In my fully healed future, I’m not defined by my trauma. It’s a part of my story, but it’s not all of it. I’m able to look back on my experiences with a sense of gratitude and understanding. I know that my experiences has shaped me into the person I am today, and I’m proud of who I am.

As I write about my fully healed future, I’m filled with a sense of hope and optimism. I know that my healing journey won’t be easy, but I also know that it’s possible. I’m committed to doing the work and taking care of myself so that I can create the future that I’ve imagined. I know that I deserve to live a life that’s free from the weight of my past hurts, and I’m excited to see what the future holds.

Take some time to envision your healed future. Put pen to paper, blog your thoughts, or make a vision board – whichever works best for you – and imagine what a recovered version of yourself will look like on your journey.

Posted in Blog, Reflections, Writing

Inkrement #9

Posted on by T.L. Minor

Stories and novels have fascinated me for as long as I can remember. As a child, I immersed myself in books, imagining myself in far-off places and fantastic adventures. As an adult, I came to realize that storytelling goes beyond entertainment and can be a powerful resource for healing. In this post, I will explore the power of sharing personal narratives and how it gives us a chance to heal.

Everyone has a story. But we often hesitate to share them due to fear of judgment and shame. I know that’s typically been the case for me. But by sharing our stories, we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and others. It allows us to process our experiences, make sense of our emotions, and find meaning in the events that have shaped us.

We can share our narratives in various ways, like writing them down in a journal or sharing them with friends. We can even perform them in front of an audience. Each approach has its benefits, but they all share a common goal: to help us find healing through the act of storytelling.

One of the most powerful ways to share our narratives is through writing, my preferred method. Writing provides a safe and private space to explore our thoughts and feelings. We can reflect and select the words that best tell our stories. But we have to admit that writing can sometimes be daunting. We may struggle to find the right words or feel overwhelmed by the emotions that arise. This is when journaling can be useful.

Journaling focuses more on free expression than structure. We write whatever comes to mind, with no worries about grammar and punctuation. This way, we can access the intense emotions that exist beneath our experiences without stressing over making it perfect.

Another way to share our stories is through spoken word and performances. Making our experiences known to the public can be empowering. Sharing our stories in front of others can be a transformative experience. It allows us to take ownership of our experiences and to reclaim our power in the face of adversity. Despite society telling you to keep your pain to yourself, this can show that you have nothing to be ashamed of. There could be people in the audience that also relate to what you’ve been through and know that they’re not alone.

The power of sharing our personal narratives lies in the act of connection. By making our stories known, we create a space for empathy, compassion, and understanding. Knowing others share our struggles can help us accept our trauma and find the courage to heal. People have used pain to create art and transformed challenges into victories. I know that’s what I’m trying to do wit the novel I want to eventually publish.

For anyone struggling with difficult emotions or feeling stuck in your healing journey, consider the power of telling your story. Whether you choose to write it, speak it, or perform it…know that your words have the power to heal, connect, and inspire. Your story matters and your voice deserves to be heard.

Posted in Blog, Novel, Personal

Inkrement #8

Posted on by T.L. Minor

I’m excited to introduce the themes of the fantasy novel that I’m currently working on. In this novel, I want to explore the possibility of redemption and forgiveness, the power of magic and spirituality, and the strength of love and connection. I talked about the premise in my last blog post.

One of the central themes of my novel is redemption and forgiveness. Two of the main characters, Topaz and Kamari, confront their own prejudices and biases and learn to see each other in a new light. Through this process, they develop a deep understanding and compassion for each other. As humans, we all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can have far-reaching consequences. Forgiveness and compassion are essential in healing deep wounds and bridging divides between people. I believe that this message is especially important in today’s world, where we often face polarization and divisiveness. It’s a difficult journey, but one that is ultimately rewarding.

Another theme in my novel is magic and spirituality. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of magic and how it can be used to bring hope and healing in the face of adversity. As Topaz grapples with the dark magic that has cursed her family for generations, she discovers the power of spirituality and magic in offering hope and healing in the face of trauma and adversity. I believe that the exploration of magic and spirituality can offer readers a sense of wonder and hope, reminding us that there is more to life than what we can see and touch.

Finally, love and connection are essential themes in my novel. At its core, this is a love story, but it’s not just about romantic love. It’s about the connections we make with others and how those connections can help us overcome our fears and find new paths forward. Topaz and Kamari start out as strangers, but over the course of the novel, they develop a deep and meaningful bond that helps them both grow and evolve.

As I continue to work on this novel, I’m excited to explore these themes and more in greater depth. I would love for this to inspire readers to embrace compassion and forgiveness, explore the mysteries of spirituality, and cultivate meaningful connections with others.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, and I look forward to sharing more updates with you all soon!

Posted in Blog, Novel, Reflections

Inkrement #7

Posted on by T.L. Minor

So I figured it’s about time that I share what I have in mind for my novel-in-progress. This story has been bouncing around in my head for a while, and I’m excited to finally put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and bring it to life.

The protagonist of the story is Topaz Cameron, a young woman who has always been focused on her own problems and issues. She has never been interested in anything beyond what she’s dealing with until she reclaims a charm bracelet from her estranged mother. It seems like a simple accessory at first, but turns out to be much more.

As Topaz delves into the history of the bracelet, she discovers that it is not just any piece of jewelry but a key to a dark and dangerous past that threatens to consume her. She realizes that the bracelet is cursed, and that she is the only one who can break the curse and put an end to the danger that threatens her life.

Topaz turns to Kamari Burton, a classmate she initially despises, but who becomes her closest ally. Together, they embark on a journey to break the curse and uncover the truth behind the bracelet. The charms on the bracelet guide them to places linked to the curse’s history, revealing the two lovers caught in its tragedy.

As they get closer to breaking the curse, the stakes grow higher, and the danger increases. The forces of dark magic are arrayed against them, and they must use their wits and the powers of the bracelet to overcome the curse and set things right.

The novel will explore the enduring legacy of generational trauma, the redemptive power of love, and the magic that can be found in unexpected places. I hope to create a world that is both magical and grounded in reality. The idea of breaking a curse feels like something out of a fairy tale, but the characters are dealing with very real issues and emotions. I want readers to feel like they could step into the pages of the book and join Topaz and Kamari on their journey.

One of the things that I’m most excited about with this novel is the character of Topaz. She’s a young woman who’s been through a lot of pain and trauma, but she’s also incredibly resilient and strong. I wanted to create a character who is relatable to readers, but who also has the ability to inspire and empower them.

The character of Kamari is also a highlight of the novel for me. He starts off as someone who Topaz can’t stand, but as they go on their journey together, they develop a deep and meaningful bond. I believe their connection is a prime example of how, sometimes, the people we least expected can have the greatest impact on our lives.

I’m in the very early stages of writing this, but I’m excited about bringing Topaz’s story to life and I’m really looking forward to see where this takes me. It’s starting off as a Young Adult novel, but I believe that it has the potential to touch readers of all ages. I have a general idea of where the plot is headed, but I’m always open to new ideas and twists that might present themselves along the way.

Stay tuned for updates!

Posted in Blog, Personal, Reflections, Relationships

Inkrement #6

Posted on by T.L. Minor

Two months ago, I was experiencing the life of my dreams. I was engaged to a man who made it his mission in life to keep a smile on my face. My best friend and I were planning a girls’ weekend just for the two of us to relax, de-stress, and enjoy some much-needed quality time together. But that dream was shattered when I discovered that my fiancé and my best friend had a one-night stand behind my back and were plotting to hook up again. It was like a knife had been plunged into my heart, twisted it, then pulled it out to watch me bleed. It’s like I could literally feel myself shattering in the days that followed.

A betrayal of this magnitude is one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever had. It feels like I lost everything – my partner, my best friend, and the future I had imagined for myself. The pain has been overwhelming, and at times, it still feels like I have no way to process it.

But then, I re-discovered the power of creative writing. It was always a hobby of mine, but I lost my desire to pick up a pencil over the years. At first, I was hesitant to put my feelings down on paper. It felt too raw, too personal, and too damn painful. But then I realized that writing was the only way I could make sense of what had happened and process my emotions.

I started by writing in a journal, pouring out all my feelings. The rage, the hurt, the confusion, and the sadness. It was liberating to have a safe space where I could be completely honest and not worry about being judged or misunderstood. I found that the more I wrote, the more I was able to connect with my emotions and start to process them.

As I began to feel more comfortable with writing, I started experimenting with different forms of creative writing. I wrote poetry, a couple of spoken word pieces, and I finally began writing a novel I had in mind for years. I found that each form of writing allowed me to express myself in a different way, and I could explore different aspects of my pain and emotions.

One of the most incredible things about writing was that it has allowed me to process my pain through words. When I wrote, I was able to create a narrative that made sense of what happened and helped me find meaning in my pain. I found that writing gave me a sense of control over my emotions and attempt to make sense of what happened.

Writing also allowed me to reclaim my power. After the betrayal, I felt victimized, powerless, and helpless. But it gave me a way to take control of my story and turn it into something meaningful. It allowed me to explore my emotions, connect with my pain, and eventually find a way to heal.

I started therapy last month and talking to someone on a weekly basis has also been extremely helpful. But there’s something cathartic about putting pen to paper. Through it, I’ve started to process my pain, find hope in my trauma, and reclaim my power. It hasn’t been easy, and there are times when I want to give up. But each time I put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard, I feel like I am taking back control of my life.

The benefits of creative writing on mental health and well-being are well documented. Studies show that writing can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, improve mood, and increase self-awareness. But for me, it’s been an outlet – it’s been a lifeline.

If you are struggling with trauma or mental health issues, I really encourage you to try writing as a way to process your emotions. It’s scary as fuck to put your feelings down on paper or on a computer screen, but it can also be so liberating and empowering.

I will be referencing this particular experience throughout future blog entries. It’ll be bitter. It’ll be ugly. It’ll be redundant. But it’s why I’m doing this. To comprehend what occurred, come to terms with it, and move forward. If you made it through this rambling, I appreciate you. If you even choose to follow me, just a heads up of what’s in store.

Posted in Blog, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #5

Posted on by T.L. Minor

I had every intention of posting a couple of entries last week. But I experienced a major depressive episode that almost got the best of me. This is my first time really writing about my depression on social media. It’s not something I’ve ever felt comfortable discussing with others, let alone sharing on such a public platform. But after struggling in silence, I realized that keeping it bottled up inside was only making things worse. It was time to break the silence and speak out. Plus, it’s part of the reason I started this blog to begin with.

I’ll admit, it’s scary as hell to post about this. I was afraid of being judged, of being labeled as weak or attention-seeking. But as I began to write, I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. It was like the words were finally giving shape to the jumbled mess of emotions that had been swirling inside me for so long.

As I hit the “post” button, my nerves almost made me keep this in the drafts. Would anyone really care? Would anyone respond? Would anyone understand? As I sit here, staring at my computer screen, my heart is pounding so hard that it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and remind myself why I’m doing this.

I was ashamed, embarrassed, and scared of what others would think of me if they found out. I didn’t want to be seen as weak or broken. So, I put on a brave face, smiled, and pretended that everything was okay, even when I was barely holding on. But the truth is, everything was not okay. I was struggling, and it was affecting every aspect of my life. I couldn’t concentrate at work, my relationships were suffering, and I felt like I was losing myself. There are so many misconceptions about depression. That’s it’s just feeling sad. But it’s so much deeper than that. It’s emptiness. It’s numbness. It’s no desire to do anything. Not eat. Not talk. Not move. Literally, there is no desire to do anything. It’s draining. It’s exhausting. It’s even worse when it feels like there’s no way to escape the darkness.

It wasn’t until I started opening up to a few close friends that I realized that there is a certain power in being vulnerable. When I finally admitted that I was struggling, that I needed help, something shifted. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And even though it was scary as hell to be so vulnerable, to admit that I wasn’t as strong as I wanted everyone to believe, it was also incredibly freeing.

Gradually, I came to understand that the people I love and who love me didn’t want me to deceive them with false positivity. Instead, they wanted me to open up and share my pain with them. They wanted to be there for me, giving me their backing and assistance when things got hard. Today, I am taking a step on the path to recovery by revealing my battle with depression online. It is disconcerting, yet also liberating. By being open and honest, I am allowing myself to be vulnerable, genuine and to accept my imperfections. I want to break the silence and stigma around mental health. I want others who are struggling to know that they are not alone, that there is help available, and that it’s okay to ask for it.

It will be difficult to open up about the struggles I have faced. I expect some will take one look at me and judge me without understanding my situation. But others who have encountered similar difficulties will offer their empathy and support. My truth may divide opinions, but if it puts a spotlight on the issues of broken dreams and unfulfilled potential, then every word will be worth it. Through my journey, I’ve discovered that being open and genuine are not failings. They are essential for healing, development, and making meaningful connections. Therefore, I’m choosing to be brave and share my narrative with everyone. By doing so, I hope to eliminate the misconceptions of mental health issues while motivating others to do the same..

Posted in Blog, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #4

Posted on by T.L. Minor

Throughout our lives, we experience life events and traumas that are just too difficult and complex to process. I know that recently, I’ve found myself struggling to make sense and come to terms with what’s going on in my life. Lately, I’ve felt lost and alone and have no clue how I can possibly move forward. That’s usually when I turn to books for comfort and a sense of safety.

At first, I didn’t realize why I would find myself grabbing book after book. There were several times when I only wanted to spend my free time getting lost in these imaginary worlds. None of these people were real. Why did I find myself so invested in their wellbeing? Why did I become so attached to these characters? Then one day, it clicked. These fictional characters were helping me process my own emotions and feelings. I didn’t feel safe enough to do it in real life. So, I had to vicariously find healing and closure through someone else.

These imaginary people and worlds can provide a safe space for exploration and expression. They exist in their own little realm. And in that realm, they weren’t fictional. They were complex beings with their own backstories, lives, and hardships.  We can put ourselves in their shoes and for a few hundred pages, live through their experiences, and in doing that, gain insight into our own lives.

As I started writing my own stories, I realized that creating characters that embodied my own struggles helped me process whatever I was going through. Writing became my outlet to express my fears, my anxieties, my anger, and my insecurities without judgment or ridicule. I could explore the darkest parts of myself through the eyes of my characters. I was able to explore all aspects of my experience in a safe and controlled way. Throughout my life, I believe that fiction truly helped me to work through my feelings and gain a deeper understanding of myself. When I read back over their stories, I am reminded of the progress I’ve made in my own life.

One book and movie that truly hits home for me is “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky. The main character, Charlie, hasn’t truly dealt with his best friend’s suicide or the abuse that he himself endured as a child.  It was one of the first books I came across that had a genuine portrayal of mental health and the aftermath of trauma.  I related heavily to Charlie because he was flawed. He made mistakes throughout the story and visibly struggled with his mental health.  But it was through his imperfections that he became a more compelling and realistic character. 

Another character that resonated with me was Katniss Everdeen in “The Hunger Games.” She initially volunteered for the games to save her sister’s life, but she inadvertently started a movement that became bigger than she could’ve ever imagined. Throughout her story, I witnessed her make some life-changing choices that I also would have made and some decisions that I can only hope I would have the courage to follow through with. Through Katniss, I saw that it was okay to be terrified, but we can’t let our fears get the best of us.

Fictional characters can be a powerful tool for healing. They provide a safe space for us to explore and express our emotions. They remind us that we are not alone in our struggles and that it’s okay to feel the way we do. They show us that even in the darkest of moments, there is hope for a brighter future. So, the next time you find yourself struggling to process your emotions, pick up a book or start writing your own story. You never know where the healing power of your imagination will take you.

Posted in Blog, Family, Personal, Reflections, Relationships

Inkrement #3

Posted on by T.L. Minor

“You your best thing.”

Toni Morrison – Beloved

Four simple words, but a power sentiment when you break it down. 

In case you’re not familiar with Toni Morrison’s works, Beloved is about a former slave named Sethe who is literally and emotionally haunted by memories of the daughter that she decided would be better off dead than taken into slavery to experience the same horrors she escaped. Years later, a mysterious young woman who calls herself Beloved shows up at her door, who Sethe believes is her daughter reincarnated. 

Heads up! Spoilers ahead if you haven’t read this captivating novel.

The book ends with Beloved disappearing after the neighborhood takes a stand to save Sethe from herself. Paul D comes to the home to find Sethe in bed, depressed and distraught over losing Beloved. She tells him that Beloved was her best thing. Paul D dismisses that statement and let her know “You your best thing, Sethe. You are.” 

Novel-wise, this is one of the most significant lines to be spoken. Sethe’s wrapped up her identity in her children. However, at the book’s conclusion, all the children have left the house. Her sons ran away, Denver found her independence, and Beloved has vanished. With those four simple words, Sethe realized she doesn’t have to be defined by her trauma. She deserves love and forgiveness, but she needs to offer herself the grace to accept it. Life transcends being a former slave and mother. Those four brief words empowered Sethe to live for herself from this point forward. 

This quote can also apply to our everyday lives. It serves as a reminder that it is okay to prioritize ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and to love ourselves so that we can continue being our own best things. It’s great to find love and bliss with our friends and family, but it is imperative to create our own happiness. Because once that relationship ends, whether by circumstances, choice, or force, you’ll only have yourself at the end of the day. 

Today, this quote holds more relevance to me. At this turning point in my life, I must strive to truly be myself. To know myself. To value myself for who I am and who I can become. We all should. 

What’s one of your favorite quotes? Please share in the comments where/who it’s from and why it’s memorable for you.

Posted in Blog, Personal

Inkrement #2

Posted on by T.L. Minor

I’ve always been a person who prefers to be in situations that provide comfort and security. The thought of doing anything I’m not familiar with sends my anxiety into overdrive. I feel like I do better with situations when I know what to expect. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to realize that all my routines and the safety net of what I know of the world could actually be hindering me from truly living my best life.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone is nerve-wracking. It means tackling your fears head on. Exploring what’s considered uncharted territory for you and taking a risk you never saw yourself doing is scary as hell. But the benefits are absolutely worth the effort. When we take a step out our comfort zone, it’s a challenge to learn something new, experience something different, and acquire a bit more knowledge. It allows us to expand our beliefs, understand certain behaviors, and gets us a little closer to reaching our goals.

As I’m writing this, I realize that I’m attempting to give myself a pep talk as I prepare to tackle the next chapter of my life as a single mother. It’s a life that I never imagined or wanted for myself, but I’m coming to terms that you have to expect the unexpected. I’m embracing the unknown and seeing where it takes me. The opportunities are unlimited.

Posted in Blog, Family, Relationships

Inkrement #1

Posted on by T.L. Minor

Sitting at my laptop to write this out, I feel a sense of vulnerability and fear. Sharing my personal story is not something that comes easily to me, but I know my journey may resonate with others who have experienced similar pain and trauma. I know that some of my relatives will not approve of me posting these entries and try to persuade me to delete this blog, claiming that it’s nobody’s business. But I have no shame in telling my story. My journey to heal from childhood and relationship trauma is new, but hope that my story can offer hope and encouragement to those who also struggle with similar issues while also showing that I’m not alone.

Growing up, I experienced verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse from my mother. My father did his best to protect me, but his desire to keep the peace in the household outweighed my need to be spared from her toxicity. Words can hurt more than physical actions, and the constant belittling and criticism left deep wounds that still haven’t healed in my 30+ years of being on this earth. I learned to internalize the negative messages and believed that no matter what I did, it would never be good enough. This gradually led to a severe lack of self-esteem and confidence that followed me into adulthood.

I found myself in relationships/situation-ships that quickly turned emotionally abusive. The constant manipulation, gaslighting, and accusations of betrayal left me feeling helpless and alone. I felt trapped in a cycle of abuse, unable to break free from the toxic patterns that had taken hold.

It wasn’t until I recently hit rock bottom with depression that I knew I needed to make a change. I’ll talk about the catalyst for this in another entry. Earlier this month, I found an amazing therapist to begin the healing process. I’m only a few sessions in, but it’s already been a painful and emotional journey. However, with each session, I am being enlightened and understand the patterns of abuse and trauma that had affected me for so long.

I started journaling to express my emotions and work through the pain. I found solace in creative writing and discovered that I could turn my experiences into something beautiful. Crafting and DIY projects also became a way for me to express myself and find happiness in the little things.

Slowly but surely, I will rebuild my sense of self and rediscover my worth. I know this journey will not be easy and there will be setbacks. But over time, I will learn to recognize the signs of abuse and to set boundaries to protect myself from repeating these hurtful cycles. It will also help to be surrounded by friends and family who support me. And while the scars from my past will always be there, I have no desire to allow them to define and control me any longer.