T.L. Minor

Blog, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections, Writing

Inkrement #26 Positive Thinking During Difficult Times

Posted on July 4, 2023July 4, 2023 by T.L. Minor

When the universe decides to make us the butt of a joke or steer us into shitty situations, it’s so easy to get trapped in a whirlwind of negativity. Believe me; I’ve been there more times than I care to admit. But what if I told you that there’s a way to find a glimmer of light even in the darkest of tunnels? Yes, it’s called positive thinking, and it’s like wielding a magic wand against the forces of pessimism.

First things first, let’s acknowledge that positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pushing the toxic positivity nonsense. It’s more about shifting our perspective and finding nuggets of goodness in the chaos. It’s like wearing rose-tinted glasses without being a clueless fool.

One of the most powerful tools in your positive thinking arsenal is gratitude. When everything seems to be crumbling around you, take a moment to appreciate the little things. Notice that comforting cup of coffee in the morning, the sound of rain tapping on the window, or the warmth of a fuzzy blanket. Gratitude is like a secret weapon against negativity, and it’s always within reach.

Next up, let’s talk about reframing. Not like framing a picture for your gallery of misery, but rather looking at a situation from a different angle. Think of reframing as a mental exercise that helps you challenge your default perception. It’s like squinting your eyes to blur the lines of a picture and discovering a different image altogether. When faced with a setback or a difficult situation, taking a step back and squinting your eyes metaphorically means distancing yourself from the immediate emotional impact. It’s about creating space for reflection and allowing yourself to see beyond the initial pain or disappointment.

Once you’ve created that mental space, it’s time to search for the silver lining. Maybe that terrible job loss was a blessing in disguise, nudging you toward a path you were too afraid to explore. Perhaps it provided the perfect opportunity for that exciting career change you’ve always dreamed of but never had the courage to pursue. By reframing the situation, you can uncover the possibilities and potential that may have been obscured by the initial sense of loss or failure.

Likewise, that gut-wrenching breakup might have shattered your heart into a million pieces. But reframing helps you realize that it was a necessary step toward finding true self-love and personal growth. It may have revealed patterns or dynamics in your relationships that needed to be addressed, allowing you to embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing. Through this new perspective, you can see the breakup as a catalyst for positive change rather than an endless source of pain.

Of course, embracing positive thinking doesn’t mean suppressing emotions, forcing fake smiles, or pretending everything is all well and good. Life can be downright terrible, and it’s absolutely okay to admit that. We’re human beings, not emotionless robots, and we have every right to feel the full range of emotions that come our way.

When those moments of anger, rage, sadness, or frustration hit you like a ton of bricks, don’t hold back. Allow yourself to fully experience and acknowledge those emotions. They are valid and they are a natural part of the human experience. So scream into your pillow if you need to, let out that primal roar of frustration, eat that half-gallon of ice cream, or find a safe space to release your pent-up emotions.

However, it’s important to remember that while it’s healthy to express and release negative emotions, it’s equally important not to wallow in them for too long. Give yourself the permission to heal and move forward. Set a time limit for your pity party or ice cream indulgence, and then make a conscious effort to shift your focus towards more positive thoughts and actions.

Speaking of moving forward, let’s not forget the power of self-care. When the going gets tough, it’s so important to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and recharge your batteries. Whether it’s binging on your favorite TV show, immersing yourself in a creative project, or going on a hike with Mother Nature, find what puts a genuine smile on your face and do more of it.

Surrounding yourself with positive influences can also work wonders. Seek out the company of uplifting friends, supportive family members, or even inspiring books and podcasts. Let their positivity seep into your veins and remind you that you’re not alone in this chaotic world. Sometimes, a well-timed sarcastic comment from a friend can be the perfect antidote to a shitty day.

Lastly, don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is a positive mindset. It takes practice, patience, and a lot of eye rolls at life’s bullshit. We live in a world that often demands instant gratification and expects us to have it all figured out. But let me tell you something: nobody has it all figured out, no matter how put together they may seem on the outside. We’re all stumbling through this crazy journey called life, trying to make sense of it all.

So, cut yourself some slack. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, and to take detours along the way. Embrace the fact that you’re a work in progress. Even the tiniest steps forward count, so give yourself credit for each and every one of them. That means you’re constantly evolving, learning, and growing. You’re not meant to have all the answers right now, and that’s perfectly okay.

So let’s try going on this journey of positive thinking together. When life tries to knock us down, let’s show it who’s boss with a dash of gratitude, a sprinkle of perspective, and a hefty dose of self-care. Because, at the end of the day, we have the power to shape our own narratives and transform difficulties into opportunities for growth. Life may be an unfair bitch, but we’re the badass protagonists of our own stories.

Blog, Creative Writing, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections, Writing

Inkrement #25: Embracing the Dark Side of Creativity

Posted on June 29, 2023 by T.L. Minor

When we think of creativity, we envision vibrant colors, uplifting melodies, and inspiring words. But what about the raw and unfiltered emotions that fuel the artistic fire? What about the moments of anguish, heartbreak, and despair that bring forth masterpieces that touch our souls? Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the dark side—the underbelly of creativity.

It’s no secret that many creative geniuses throughout history have grappled with inner demons. From Vincent van Gogh’s tormented paintings to Sylvia Plath’s haunting poetry, we see that creativity and suffering often dance hand in hand. But why does this dark undercurrent exist? And can we embrace it as a source of inspiration and growth?

The truth is that the creative process is a reflection of the human experience. It is a journey that transcends the mundane and reaches deep into the core of our being. Within that journey, we encounter both light and darkness. It is through embracing and exploring these shadows that we unlock a profound well of artistic depth.

Consider the iconic works of Edgar Allan Poe. His tales of macabre and despair captivate us with their haunting beauty. Poe’s ability to delve into the darkest corners of the human psyche allowed him to create timeless masterpieces that continue to enthrall readers today. By fearlessly exploring the dark side, he tapped into a wellspring of creativity that resonates with our own inner struggles.

But embracing the dark side of creativity is not about wallowing in despair or glorifying pain. It’s about acknowledging the complexity of human emotions and using them as a catalyst for transformative art. It’s about digging deep into our own experiences, both light and dark, and channeling them into a creative outlet.

The process of harnessing the darkness is not an easy one. It requires vulnerability, self-reflection, and courage. It means confronting our fears, doubts, and insecurities head-on. It means embracing the parts of ourselves that we often try to hide away. But within this journey lies the potential for profound personal growth and artistic breakthroughs.

As creators, we have the unique ability to transmute our pain into something beautiful. Our art becomes a vehicle for catharsis—a release of pent-up emotions, a way to process the complexities of life. It allows us to connect with others on a deep and empathetic level, reassuring them that they are not alone in their struggles.

So please don’t shy away from the shadows. Embrace the dark side of your creativity. Allow it to guide you on a transformative journey of self-discovery and expression. Take those moments of anguish and turn them into fuel for your art. Let your vulnerability shine through your work, for it is in that rawness that you create something truly authentic and resonant.
It’s okay to embrace the darkness, as long as you don’t let it consume you. Seek support from loved ones, fellow artists, or even professional resources if you find yourself overwhelmed. Surround yourself with a community that understands and supports your artistic process.

Until next time, keep creating, keep exploring, and remember—within the shadows lies the potential for extraordinary artistry.

Blog, Creative Writing, Depression, Mental Health, Personal, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #24: Shadows of Numbness

Posted on June 27, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Describe the feeling of being numb in a poem about depression.
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In the hushed twilight of desolation’s grip,
I am an empty vessel, numbed to the core,
Adrift in the vast expanse of a desolate sea,
Where waves of despair crash upon my soul.

Once vibrant colors now dulled and faded,
Laughter’s melody echoes as a distant whisper,
And tears, imprisoned within weary eyes,
Long for release, but find only stifled cries.

The weight of melancholy settles upon my chest,
A leaden shroud, constricting every breath,
And the heart, once ablaze with fierce passion,
Now slumbers in the depths of sorrow’s embrace.

Days melt together in a monotonous haze,
As the world spins on, oblivious and indifferent,
And the rhythm of life’s symphony eludes me,
Lost in the dissonance of my fractured spirit.

Time stretches thin, like a taut thread of silk,
Bound tightly to the weight of unspoken words,
And the world marches forward, relentless,
While I stand frozen, a statue in the midst of life.

In the abyss of this numbing desolation,
I yearn for a glimmer, a spark of vitality,
To shatter the chains that bind my weary soul,
And set aflame the embers of hope once more.

But for now, I drift, a phantom of sorrow,
Inhabiting the spaces between forgotten dreams,
Longing for the sun’s caress to warm my spirit,
And breathe vibrancy into this colorless existence.

Blog, Depression, Family, Friendship, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections

Inkrement #23 The Ripple Effect: The Positive Impact of Building a Support System

Posted on June 20, 2023June 20, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Life can and will throw some curveballs our way. And when those tough times hit, having people who genuinely care about us can make all the difference. Today, I want to share a personal story that taught me firsthand how building a support system can positively impact every aspect of our lives.

It was a few months ago, the day after my birthday, when something unexpected happened. I had been battling with depression and it was kicking my ass. On that particular day, I couldn’t find the strength or desire to respond to any of the birthday calls or texts I received. I was caught in a dark cloud that seemed impossible to escape. Little did I know, my sister, father, and niece were planning a surprise visit that would change my perspective.

My family has always been there for me, but depression has a way of making you believe you’re utterly alone, even when you’re not. As the day wore on, I isolated myself from the world, drowning in self-doubt and sadness. The weight of my emotions kept me from appreciating the love and care that surrounded me.

Unbeknownst to me, my sister had sensed my struggles and rallied the troops. She reached out to my father and convinced him to make the hour long trip with my niece. They knew I needed them, even if I didn’t realize it myself. That morning, they arrived at my doorstep, armed with birthday balloons, warm hugs, and an abundance of love.

When I opened the door and saw their familiar faces, tears streamed down my cheeks. It was in that moment that the ripple effect of building a support system became evident. Their unwavering support and their willingness to be there for me reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Their actions sent ripples through my life, touching every aspect in a profound and positive way.

Emotionally, I felt a burden being lifted from my shoulders. The weight of depression felt a little lighter knowing that I had people in my corner who genuinely cared about my well-being. Their presence alone gave me a glimmer of hope that I could overcome the darkness I was facing.

Physically, the visit energized me. We spent hours in my backyard having candid conversations about whatever came to mind. The familiar sound of laughter and casual jokes brought back a sense of normalcy and reminded me of the joy that existed beyond my inner turmoil.

Mentally, their visit was a breath of fresh air. We sat around the living room, sharing stories and memories, reminding me of the countless adventures we had experienced together. Their words and presence brought a renewed sense of purpose and reminded me of the things that truly mattered in life.

Professionally, their visit had a surprising effect as well. While writing was the furthest thing from my mind, their support and encouragement ignited a spark within me. They reminded me of my passion for storytelling, and their belief in my abilities helped me regain the confidence to pursue my dreams once more. After that, I began working on the novel idea that’s been in my head for years. It was also then that I decided to start this blog.

Their visit not only impacted me directly but also had a ripple effect on the people around me. Witnessing my family’s love and support, my friends and acquaintances began to open up about their own struggles, creating a sense of community and understanding. We formed a network of support, each one of us contributing to the positive change in one another’s lives.

Reflecting on that transformative visit, I realized the profound impact that building a support system can have. It’s so easy to forget that we are not alone in our struggles, but when we allow others to be there for us, it not only lightens our own burden but also inspires others to seek help and support.

Building a support system starts with opening up, sharing our vulnerabilities, and allowing others to lend a helping hand. It requires trust, empathy, and genuine care. It’s about fostering meaningful connections and recognizing that we all need each other to navigate life’s challenges. We also have to remember that building a support system is a reciprocal process. Just as you seek support, be ready to offer it as well. Be the cheerleader, the listener, and the pillar of strength for others. Celebrate their victories and lend a helping hand during their challenges. By giving, you create a culture of support and kindness that will always come back to you when you need it most.

To anyone out there who may be going through a tough time, my advice is simple: reach out. Don’t be afraid to let others in. Seek comfort in the company of loved ones, friends, or even support groups. Remember that you are not alone, and your struggles do not define you.

The ripple effect of building a support system cannot be underestimated. Through my own experience, I discovered the profound impact that love, care, and understanding can have on every aspect of our lives. We all have the power to create positive change, not only within ourselves but also in the lives of those around us. So, let’s be there for one another, lending an ear, a shoulder, or a helping hand. Together, we can make a difference.

Creative Writing, Friendship, Relationships, Writing, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #22 – When Paths Diverge-Echoes of a Broken Melody

Posted on June 16, 2023June 16, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Write about two friends who were once inseparable, but now find themselves growing apart — or even friends turned enemies. (Credit to Reedsy Writing Prompts for the inspiration)
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Emelia and Carmen were inseparable from the moment they met in the schoolyard. Their friendship flourished, their souls intertwined like intricate tapestries. They shared secrets, dreams, and laughter that resounded through the corridors of their lives. In a world determined to tear them apart, they found solace in each other, becoming each other’s unwavering support.

But as they entered adulthood, cracks formed in their once unbreakable bond. Emelia, with her free-spirited nature and hunger for adventure, longed to spread her wings and explore the world beyond their small town of Idlewood. Carmen, cautious and rooted in familiarity, chose the safety of what she knew.

One fateful summer night, they sat on the porch of Emelia’s childhood home, the warm breeze carrying the scent of blooming flowers. The setting sun painted the sky with hues of gold and amber, creating a backdrop of fleeting beauty for their conversation.

Emelia’s heart raced as she summoned the courage to share her plans with Carmen. She took a deep breath, her voice trembling with anticipation. “I need to share something with you. Something has been on my mind for a while.”

Carmen looked at her friend, curiosity mingled with concern etched across her face. “What is it, Mellie? You know you can tell me anything.”

A mixture of excitement and vulnerability danced in Emelia’s eyes as she continued. “I want to move to Los Angeles. I’m ready to share my music with the world.” She anxiously ran her fingers through her hair. “You know that it’s always been my deepest passion. I can’t ignore this melody that haunts my dreams any longer.”

Carmen’s brows furrowed, confusion clouding her features. “But…Mellie, what about us? What about our friendship? We’ve always been there for one another, right?”

“Of course we have! And that’s not going to change.” Tears welled up in Emelia’s eyes, betraying the depth of her emotions. “But this is my calling. It’s about pursuing the music that fills my soul.”

“It just feels like you’re choosing your dream over our friendship.” Carmen’s voice quivered with a mix of fear and bitterness. “How do I manage without you? How can I support a decision that means losing you?”

“I don’t want to lose you, Carmen. You mean everything to me.” Emelia’s shoulders slumped, the weight of Carmen’s words crashing down on her. “But this dream, it’s become a part of who I am. If I ignore it, I’ll be sacrificing my happiness. Why do I have to choose between our friendship and my goals?”

Silence settled between them, heavy with unspoken regrets and unfulfilled promises. The fading light cast long shadows across the porch, mirroring the growing divide between their dreams.

Carmen broke the silence, her voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and resentment. “I just never expected this. I never imagined our paths splitting like this.”

“This isn’t breaking news,” Emelia stated, a hint of frustration lacing her words. “Remember the 5th-grade talent show? Before I belted out that Whitney Houston song, I told the audience they’d see me performing at the Grammy Awards when I grew up. And I meant that.”

Carmen’s eyes widened, disbelief mingling with a flicker of hope. “Do you believe you have what it takes to get a record deal? Are you really Grammy Award-winning, top of the billboard charts-winning good?”

“I know I am,” Emelia scowled. “What is wrong with you? You’re supposed to be my best friend, supporting me!”

“I’m being your best friend by telling you that local talent shows and solos in the church choir are as big as you’re going to get,” Carmen spat, her words sharp as broken glass.

Emelia winced, the impact of Carmen’s harsh words cutting deep. The pain was palpable, a wound that threatened to scar their friendship forever.

“Carmen, please try to understand. I know it seems impossible, but I’m going for it, regardless. If I fail, then at least I can sleep at night knowing I tried.” Emelia reached out, her hand trembling, wishing to bridge the widening gap. “I want you to come with me. We can chase our dreams together!”

Carmen pulled her hand away, rose from her seat, and walked away without a word.

“Carmen? Carmen!” Emelia’s voice cracked with desperation. She stood, her eyes fixed on Carmen’s retreating figure. “Please come back!”

But Carmen kept walking, disappearing into the shadows of the night. The once unbreakable bond that held them together was now frayed, threatening to unravel completely. From that moment on, their friendship spiraled into a tragic dance of resentment, bitterness, and unspoken regrets.

Over time, their paths diverged. Emelia embarked on a relentless pursuit of her dreams in the music industry, her unwavering determination propelling her towards fame. Yet, amidst the glitz and glamor, a pang of longing tugged at her heart, reminding her of the friendship she had left behind. Meanwhile, in the confines of Idlewood, Carmen trudged through a monotonous existence, working at a bank and feeling trapped in a life that resembled a motionless statue. The weight of her own choices bore down on her, saturating her days with resentment and quashing any flicker of hope for progress.

On a stormy night, fate reunited the two in their hometown. Rain pounded against the windows as they stood on opposite ends of a bustling bar, their once unbreakable bond now fractured. Earlier that evening, Emelia had captivated the audience at the Idlewood Performing Arts Center with her powerful voice, leaving them in awe. Word of her talent quickly spread, reaching a few patrons in the bar who recognized her. Approaching her with excitement, they requested autographs and selfies, to which she graciously obliged, her radiant smile forging connections with her adoring fans.

Amid the clamor, Emelia almost missed Carmen’s arrival. But as their eyes met across the crowded room, a mix of surprise and trepidation flickered in her gaze. Carmen turned around and walked out the door.

She pushed her way through the throng of people, her heart pounding in her chest. She reached Carmen, her voice husky with emotion. “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here. How have you been?”

Carmen’s eyes, once warm and inviting, now held a coldness that mirrored the frozen wasteland of their friendship. “Does it matter? We’re strangers now.”

Emelia’s heart shattered at the stark truth in Carmen’s words. She reached out, desperately seeking a flicker of recognition in the eyes of her estranged best friend. “Carmen, I can’t apologize for pursuing my dreams. Music gives me life. I can’t deny who I am, and I shouldn’t have to.”

Carmen’s lips curled into a bitter smirk. “Oh, how noble of you, Mellie. Following your dreams while leaving a trail of broken hearts behind. Did you ever stop to think about what it meant for me? About what you meant to me?”

Emelia’s voice quivered with emotion, her words measured and resolute. “Of course, I thought about it. Every single day. But it’s not just me, it’s both of us. We should have supported and encouraged each other to pursue our passions. Instead, you let fear poison our friendship.”

“Fear? Is that what you think? I wasn’t afraid, Mellie. You abandoned me.” Carmen’s eyes flickered with a mix of anger and pain. “You soared while I faced my limitations.”

Emelia took a step closer, her voice filled with a mix of empathy and frustration. “I never intended for you to feel left behind. I wanted you to come with me, to share in the adventure. But you closed yourself off, shutting down any possibility of growth or change. You settled for a life that wasn’t truly fulfilling, and you blamed me for the choices you made.”

Carmen’s voice wavered, her eyes welling up with tears. “You just don’t understand. You were always the bold one who dared to take risks. But I’m not like you. I needed stability, security. I couldn’t just throw it all away for a dream.”

Emelia’s voice softened, a mixture of compassion and frustration lingering in her words. “I get it, Carmen. I understand that we’re different, that our paths diverged. But instead of celebrating our differences, you let resentment consume you. And I can’t bear the weight of your bitterness anymore.”

“So what now?” Carmen’s shoulders sagged, her voice barely a whisper. “What do we do?”

Emelia took a deep breath, her gaze unwavering. “We have to face the truth that we broke our friendship.” She blinked away the tears forming in her eyes. “We can’t change what’s been done. But you have to figure out why you’re so afraid to live your life, to embrace the possibilities that lie outside your comfort zone.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Carmen’s tears flowed freely now, mingling with the raindrops that fell. “I don’t know if I have the strength.”

Emelia’s voice, filled with a mix of sorrow and determination, carried through the storm. “You’re stronger than you think. You have the power to reclaim your life, to find your own path.” She took a step closer to Carmen. We can’t return to what we were until you face your fears and regrets. Maybe we never will.”

The silence hung heavily in the air, the weight of their shared history pressing upon them. Emelia took a step backward, her eyes fixed on Carmen’s. “I hope one day you find the courage to live a life that brings you true happiness.”

And with those parting words, Emelia turned away, leaving Carmen standing in the rain, tears mingling with the sorrow of a friendship lost to the unforgiving winds of time. As she walked away, the crowded bar seemed to fade into the background. She could feel the weight of Carmen’s gaze burning into her back, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn around. The storm outside matched the tempest within her heart, the raindrops mingling with her own tears.

Years later, Emelia stood on a stage, the bright lights illuminating her as she poured her heart into her music. The crowd roared in adoration, but a hollow ache consumed her. Even amid her success, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness for the friendship she had lost. Late nights of laughter and dreaming, now only memories. She whispered Carmen’s name into the night, carrying an unsaid apology. She longed to undo the mistakes that led to their estrangement.

But Emelia wasn’t the only one haunted by the memories of their fractured bond. Carmen, too, carried the weight of what had transpired. In the wake of their fallout, she had built walls around herself, barricading her heart from the pain and regret that gnawed at her soul. She watched from a distance as Emelia ascended to the heights of her dreams, bitterness and envy poisoning her thoughts.

Carmen grappled with the choices that had diverged their paths, their once-shared journey now a bittersweet memory. Emelia’s triumphs served as a poignant reflection of her own sacrifices and self-imposed limitations. A pang of longing pierced her heart as she observed the adoration Emelia effortlessly garnered, a love and support she had yearned for in her own life. Yet, amidst her feelings of envy, remorse crept into her soul. She recognized her own contribution to the fracture of their friendship, the moments she succumbed to fear and bitterness, unable to grasp the magnitude of Emelia’s aspirations.

More time passed, and the wounds of their shattered friendship remained etched in their hearts. Emelia continued to thrive in her music career, but the success tasted bittersweet without Carmen by her side. Carmen, trapped in the suffocating grip of resentment, watched from a distance, her heart heavy with regret.

One evening, Emelia’s song filled the airwaves, carrying the weight of their fractured bond and a yearning for reconciliation. Carmen felt an irresistible pull towards Emelia’s music, her determination faltering as she stood outside the concert venue. In her heart, conflicting emotions waged war—a lingering anger and an undeniable longing for the profound connection they once cherished. Gathering her courage, she took hesitant steps and crossed the threshold into the bustling venue, surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces. With unwavering resolve, Carmen purchased a ticket to Emelia’s concert, determined to find solace and, perhaps, rediscover the depth of their bond.

As Emelia’s performance soared to its crescendo, her eyes swept the crowd in a desperate search. And then, on the periphery, she caught sight of Carmen. There she stood, emotions brimming in her glistening eyes, a face she had thought lost forever. Her voice hung in the air as she stepped off the stage. She made her way through the crowd, her heart pounding, until she stood before Carmen. They locked eyes, and in that moment, nothing else seemed to matter.

Carmen’s trembling hand extended, finding solace in Emelia’s grasp. As their hands intertwined, their eyes met in a wordless understanding, sharing the weight of their pain and unspoken regrets.

In that embrace, forgiveness bloomed like a long-awaited spring. All the years of resentment, the distance between them, and the unforgivable deed that split them apart – it all became trivial. They stood, two broken souls, finding solace and redemption in the simple act of holding on. Despite the pain of past wounds and broken trust, they discovered the resilience of creating something entirely new.
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I chose the prompt to write a story about two friends who were once inseparable but now find themselves growing apart because it resonates deeply with my own experiences and emotions. Emelia and Carmen, the two friends at the center of the story, hold a special place in my heart. They were once like two halves of a whole, inseparable in their shared laughter, dreams, and adventures. Their bond was unbreakable, their friendship a beacon of light in a sometimes dark world. But as life unfolded and time moved forward, the dynamics between Emelia and Carmen began to shift. It’s a bittersweet tale of how circumstances, misunderstandings, and the inevitable changes that come with growing up can slowly create distance between even the closest of friends. Exploring their friendship, the feelings they confront and the obstacles they face let me explore the intricacies of human relationships and how change shapes our lives. Through their story, I wanted to show how life changes our relationships and highlight the strength of friendship.

Blog, Creative Writing, Reflections, Relationships, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #21 – A Playlist for the Love I Desire

Posted on June 12, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Create a playlist of songs that capture the essence of the relationship you desire. Write a reflection on each song, explaining why it resonates with your vision.
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“Knock You Down” by Keri Hilson, Ne-yo & Kanye West

Love has the power to knock us down, to make us feel vulnerable and exposed. It’s in those moments of raw emotion that true connection is forged. I crave a love that has the strength to touch my soul, to make me feel alive and understood. “Knock You Down” reminds me that the depth of emotions that love can evoke is what truly makes a relationship extraordinary.

But it’s not just about the intensity of emotions; it’s about resilience and support. Life is full of challenges, and relationships are no exception. The song reminds me that even in the face of adversity, love can be a beacon of strength, pushing us to rise above our struggles. I long for a partner who will stand by my side, offering unwavering support and encouragement as we navigate life’s ups and downs together. The idea that love can empower us to overcome obstacles and thrive is at the heart of the relationship I desire.

“Knock You Down” emphasizes the importance of mutual admiration. It’s not just about being infatuated with someone; it’s about truly seeing and appreciating them for who they are. I crave a love where there’s a profound respect for each other’s individuality and a genuine admiration for the qualities that make us unique. I want a partner who recognizes my strengths, lifts me up, and inspires me to become the best version of myself.

I think what I appreciate most about this song is its realistic portrayal of love. It acknowledges that relationships aren’t always smooth sailing. They have their share of challenges and complexities. But through it all, love remains a driving force, compelling us to keep going. I desire a love that is authentic, one that recognizes the imperfections and embraces the journey with all its ups and downs. Because it’s in the imperfect moments that we find the most beautiful and genuine connections.

“After All Is Said & Done” by Beyonce & Marc Nelson

When I listen to this song, I can’t help but feel this incredible connection to the lyrics. It’s like they were written specifically for the kind of love I yearn for. It delves into the depths of love, acknowledging that it’s not always a smooth ride. It captures the complexities and challenges that couples may face, which is so important to me. I believe that true love isn’t always easy, but it’s worth fighting for.

You see, this song embodies the essence of my ideal relationship. It acknowledges that there will be hardships, tears, and even moments where forgiveness seems impossible. But through it all, there’s an unwavering commitment to stand by each other. That’s the kind of love I desire – a love that’s strong enough to weather any storm that comes our way.

One of the lyrics that resonates deeply with me is when they sing, “I’ll never be afraid to say I need you.” It’s a beautiful expression of vulnerability and emotional openness, something I believe is crucial in a relationship. I want a love where I can be my authentic self and not be afraid to admit when I need my partner by my side. That level of trust and communication is what builds a strong foundation.

“You & I” – John Legend

When I listen to “You and I,” it’s like John Legend reached into my soul and plucked out my deepest desires. This song speaks to the core of what I long for in a relationship. It’s all about that unbreakable bond. The kind that withstands the storms, the heartaches, and all the twists and turns life throws at you.

“You and I” celebrates the strength of love, the kind that makes you feel invincible. It’s like finding that person who becomes your rock, your sanctuary, and your safe haven. It’s that profound sense of devotion and support, the feeling that no matter what, they’ll always be there for you. That’s the kind of love I crave, the kind that builds you up and helps you conquer your fears.

But what I love most about this song is how it speaks to real-life experiences. It captures those moments that we’ve all longed for—the desire for a love that lasts, that stands the test of time. It’s like it’s saying, “Hey, love is worth fighting for, and it’s possible to find that deep connection with someone special.”

And you know what else? It reminds us that when life throws its curveballs, we don’t have to face them alone. “You and I” emphasizes the beauty of two individuals joining forces, standing shoulder to shoulder, and taking on life’s challenges as an unbreakable team. It’s that feeling of having a partner who has your back no matter what. A love that’s built on trust, understanding, and unity.

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I chose this writing prompt because music has always been a powerful way for me to express my emotions and desires. It’s like the lyrics and melodies have this uncanny ability to tap into the depths of my soul and bring my vision to life. I believe that songs can be like windows into the heart, reflecting our deepest longings and hopes.

The songs I listed doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of my love song playlist. But these songs in particular resonate with my vision of a relationship because they embody the raw emotions, the triumphs, and the complexities that come with love. They remind me that love is not always smooth sailing, but it’s the willingness to face the ups and downs together that truly defines a relationship. These songs capture the essence of the love I desire—a love that is passionate, enduring, and rooted in unwavering support. They are the soundtrack to my hopes and dreams, and they inspire me to keep believing in the power of love, even in the face of adversity.

The titles link to lyric videos on YouTube in case you want to take a listen.

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q2Inkrement #20 – Healing Through Words: Confronting Resentment Head-On

Posted on June 7, 2023October 12, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Write a letter to the person or situation that has caused you resentment. Express your feelings honestly and openly, releasing any pent-up emotions.
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To Franchesca “Frankie” K. Waldron,

I know that this letter will never find you. Nonetheless, there are emotions boiling within me that can’t be buried anymore, and this letter serves as my release for them. It’s been three months since the truth finally surfaced, since the veil of deception was lifted. Yet, the wound remains fresh, festering within me. It’s time to start acknowledging this pent-up feeling and let you know the impact you’ve had on my life.

You were my best friend, or at least that’s what I stupidly believed. We were confidants. Partners in crime. We shared secrets, dreams, and aspirations. I trusted you implicitly with my insecurities, my vulnerabilities, and even my heart. I blindly believed that our bond was unbreakable. But then, you shattered that trust into a million irreparable pieces. How could you take such a treasured connection and defile it with deceit? How could you do this to me? How could you betray the sanctity of our sisterhood? I loved you. I adored you. I would’ve gone through the seven levels of hell and back for you. I would have NEVER done this to you! NEVER!

Discovering that you had a one-night stand with my ex-fiancé, of all people, was like a devastating earthquake shaking the foundation of my entire existence. You knew the weight of this secret, and yet you chose to hide it for FOUR fucking years, allowing me to continue building a life with someone who had already tainted our bond. The fact that you concealed something of this magnitude for years, watching me bask in ignorance and make life-altering decisions based on this lie, is something I will NEVER understand or forgive. And the only reason you admitted to it is because I found out and called you out on it. Otherwise, you’d still be smiling in my face and lying through your teeth to this very moment. That is unacceptable and unforgivable. I cannot fathom the reasons behind your decision to keep this from me, as it gnawed at the very foundations of our friendship. The overwhelming pain of this betrayal left me questioning everything I thought I knew about you, myself, and my life.

But what hurt the most, my former friend, was not just the act itself, but the aftermath. Initially, you were remorseful and apologetic. But after being called out about more lies that I discovered from the both of you, that’s when you flipped the script. Suddenly, you were the wronged person in the situation. When confronted with the truth, you deflected blame onto everyone else, even me. The audacity to victimize yourself in this debacle, as if you were just an innocent bystander. Gaslighting me, making me question my own sanity and perception, driving me into a state of depression that I never thought possible. I was left bewildered and suicidal, lost in a maze of your callousness and deceit.

You dredged up irrelevant past situations, attempting to point the finger away from your own actions. You decided to choose that particular moment to suddenly address grievances from years ago that you never uttered a word about before. But two wrongs don’t make a right. Trying to shift the blame was a pathetic excuse to escape accountability. You can continue to justify, rationalize, and minimize your role however you want if that’s what helps you sleep at night. Whether you ever admit it or not, you are just as guilty and foul for what you did. Arguments can be made that your part in the transgression was worse because it violated the Girl Code on every level imaginable. Relationships come and go. But a real friend would have never done this. And in case you’re wondering if I’m also blaming him for what happened, the answer is yes. I made sure people knew exactly what the two of you did behind my back. He’s lost friendships, trust, and respect from many people as the result of it. You knew the same would happen with you, which is why you cut yourself off from everybody in our circle after being confronted.

Your condescending apology was like rubbing salt in a fresh wound. “I’m sorry you’re going through this.” I can’t believe you had the nerve to say that to me, bitch. The unmitigated gall to acknowledge my pain while sidestepping your own responsibility in causing it. Claiming that you love me and that you’ll be there to support me through this, as if you weren’t 50% of the problem. As if it wasn’t your actions that shattered the foundation of trust that held us together. It was a bold, outrageous, and disgusting insult to the pain you’d already caused. Your words cut deep, confirming that the friend I once loved had now become a stranger.

But I want you to know, despite the seething anger that courses through my veins, I refuse to let it consume me indefinitely. This resentment, like a caged beast, will eventually be released. I won’t allow it to define me or dictate my future happiness. It won’t happen overnight. I can’t tell you exactly when the burdens of these emotions will finally dissipate. But I can assure you, my former friend, that I will rise above this pain and find the strength to let go.

This letter is not a plea for more of your fake sympathy or an invitation for further discussion. I know that you don’t give a damn about me or the havoc you wreaked. You’ve proven yourself to be a trifling, backstabbing sociopath and any attempts to get you to understand the damage that has been done would be a waste of energy. I’m writing this to simply validate my pain, communicate my emotions truthfully and candidly, and begin the process of reclaiming my peace. In time, I will heal. In time, I will rebuild my life, my trust, and my happiness.

With a heavy heart, I bid you farewell. As insane as this will sound, I really did want to find some way to put this behind us and continue our friendship, but that was just me being in denial about the damage that’s been done. I tried desperately to accept your version of what happened because I couldn’t imagine life without you, but that only made me spiral out of control with depression and rage. Real friends just don’t do this shit to each other. I didn’t deserve this. You can claim that I’m not perfect and I’m not as innocent as I claim to be. You can throw my mistakes and choices in my face if that makes you feel better. But no matter how you try to twist this, none of that justifies keeping this monumental secret while you spent nights in my home and bummed money off of me. None of that excuses the choice you made every single day to smile in my face while hiding the knife behind your back. It doesn’t change the fact that you should have told me the goddamn truth. That’s the most fucked up part of this situation. That’s the part that enrages me the most. That’s the part that makes it impossible to ever reconcile with you. I have no interest in repairing a bond that I didn’t destroy. It’s a disgrace and a shame that I called you my best friend, but you were never a friend of mine.

While our paths may never cross again, I hope that you find the strength to confront the demons within you. To find the decency to face the consequences of your actions and grow from them. I wish you the clarity to understand the pain you’ve caused, not just to me, but to yourself as well.

Goodbye, Franchesca K. Waldron. May life teach you the lessons you so desperately need to learn.

Sincerely,

Your former friend

P.S.,

You kept saying it was okay if I wanted to curse you out and call you names. Since I was too consumed by depression and denial to do it before…I hope you rot in hell, you selfish, conniving, worthless bitch. You’re a disgusting excuse of a human being. If I never see you again in my life, it would be too fucking soon. How does that old saying go? “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Well, that was a lesson learned the hard way after dealing with you. The blinders are off and I see you now for the despicable and vapid snake you truly are. If you really didn’t want the sex to happen, then why the hell did you open your legs for him, you stupid skank? Befriending you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The fact that I ever loved and cared for you makes me sick to my stomach. You didn’t deserve my goodness. You didn’t deserve my kindness or affection. You are unforgivable and unredeemable. I hope all this bullshit was worth it. I hate you. You’re dead to me.
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I chose this writing prompt because it resonates deeply with my current struggles and emotions. The journey of healing is not as straightforward as we’d like it to be. Today just happened to be one of those challenging days where anger and resentment consumed me. This prompt provided a healthy outlet for me to confront and acknowledge my feelings, allowing me to address the person who has been the source of my anger. It provided me with a cathartic release, giving me an opportunity to express my emotions in a constructive manner. It helped me take a step towards self-reflection and grant myself the space to confront and process my feelings honestly. Do I feel better? Momentarily, yes. Will it this be the last time I address this particular issue? More than likely, no. But all I can do is grant myself some grace and take this healing journey one day at a time.

Blog, Reflections, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #19 – Reflections on Acts of Self-Care

Posted on June 6, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Write a reflection on acts of self-care and self-compassion that contribute to your self-worth. Explore how engaging in these acts enhances your capacity for healthy relationships.
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It’s funny how life works sometimes. You spend so much time worrying about other people’s needs, their happiness, and their well-being, that you forget to take care of yourself. I was always taught the importance of teamwork, of sacrificing for the greater good of the team or for family. But somewhere along the way, I forgot that I am part of that team too, and I need to take care of myself in order to be the best version of me. That’s when acts of self-care and self-compassion entered my life, becoming essential ingredients that contribute to my self-worth.

For the longest time, I thought that self-care was just about bubble baths, wine and swedish massages, things that seemed extravagant and indulgent. But I’ve come to realize that self-care is so much more than that. It’s about taking the time to check in with myself, to listen to my body and my mind, and to give them what they need to thrive. It’s about understanding that my needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.

One of the acts of self-care that has become an important part of my routine is daily meditation. It’s a fairly simple practice. Just sitting in silence, focusing on my breathing, and allowing myself to be fully present in the moment. It’s during these moments of stillness that I connect with my inner self, gaining clarity and perspective on my life. Meditation has taught me the power of self-awareness, of being in tune with my emotions and thoughts. By understanding myself better, I can go into the world with greater compassion and empathy, both towards myself and others.

One of the most transformative acts of self-care I have started practicing again is writing. Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), allowing the words to flow freely, is like embarking on a journey of self-discovery. It is a cathartic release, a sacred conversation with my own soul. Through writing, I have been learning to give a voice to my thoughts and emotions, to make sense of the chaos within. This act of self-expression allows me to acknowledge and validate my own experiences, fostering a sense of self-worth that is independent of external validation.

An important step I have taken to become more self-compassionate and foster healthier relationships is establishing boundaries. It took me a while to realize that it’s okay to say no, to prioritize my own needs and well-being. I still struggle with being a people pleaser, always putting others before myself, afraid of disappointing or letting them down. But I know that in doing so, I neglect my own boundaries and sacrificing my own happiness. Learning to set boundaries has been a transformative act of self-compassion. It’s about recognizing my limits, honoring my values, and communicating my needs assertively and respectfully. By being firm with my limits, I am true to myself in the relationships I’m in, promoting mutual respect and healthier connections.

Engaging in acts of self-care and self-compassion is not only contributing to my self-worth but has also had a major impact on my relationships. When I take care of myself, when I prioritize my own well-being, I am able to show up as a more present and wholehearted friend and family member. I have more energy, more love to give, and a greater capacity to support and uplift those around me. Now, don’t get me wrong. Of course, this isn’t a cure-all for all the challenges we face in relationships. They won’t make all of your troubles disappear or guarantee a perfect life. However, what they can offer is a strong base that you can use to strengthen and care for your relationships.

These acts not only enhance my capacity for healthy relationships but also allow me to navigate life with a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. As I continue to cultivate self-care and self-compassion, I am reminded that taking care of myself is not a selfish act but a necessary one. It is the foundation upon which I build my relationships, my dreams, and my life. As I reflect on my own journey, I realize that I’m still a work in progress. There are days when I falter, when I forget to put myself first or when I neglect my own boundaries. But I’ve come to understand that self-care is a lifelong practice, a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. And with each step I take, I become more attuned to my own needs and more capable of fostering the kind of relationships that bring joy, love, and fulfillment into my life.
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I chose this writing prompt because it really hits home for me. As someone who has struggled with self-worth and maintaining healthy relationships in the past, I’ve come to understand the importance of self-care and self-compassion. It’s something that my therapist drills into my head after every session. It’s something that I’m actively working on in my own life, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the impact it has had on me.

Blog, Mental Health, Personal, Reflections, Therapy

Inkrement #18: Honesty vs. Transparency

Posted on June 2, 2023June 27, 2023 by T.L. Minor

As I sat in my therapist’s cozy office, she asked a question that left me momentarily perplexed: “Do you want honesty or do you want transparency?” Having recently ended a long-term relationship, I had confidently asserted that honesty was at the top of my list of qualities I sought in a future partner. But in that moment, I realized that there might be more to it than I initially thought. Inspired by the guidance of my therapist, I embarked on a journey to understand the subtle yet significant differences between honesty and transparency.

Unveiling the Distinction:

To me, honesty and transparency always went hand in hand. What could be the difference between them when both had the same underlying principle of truth-telling? My therapist, with her characteristic wisdom, gently explained that while they indeed share common ground, they have distinct levels of truthfulness.

Honesty, as I learned, encompasses being truthful and straightforward when asked. It involves not intentionally deceiving or misleading others. When we demand honesty in a relationship, we expect our partner to speak the truth when confronted with a question or a situation. It means expressing our true feelings and thoughts without fabricating or sugarcoating them.

On the other hand, transparency goes beyond simply answering a question truthfully. It involves willingly offering relevant information without being prompted. Transparency requires laying one’s cards on the table, allowing our partner to make informed decisions based on the full picture. It’s about open communication, sharing intentions, and freely providing context.

The Playing Cards Analogy:

To illustrate the difference, my therapist used a clever analogy involving playing cards. She held a handful of cards, and when asked if she had the Queen of Hearts, she honestly admitted to having it, revealing the card as evidence. However, she emphasized that this information was only disclosed after being questioned.

In contrast, she explained that transparency is like laying all the cards on the table without prompt. She openly announced, “Hey, I have the Queen of Hearts, Ace of Spades, and 10 of Diamonds. You can decide how you want to move next.” By offering this information voluntarily, she allowed her partner to have a more thorough understanding of the situation and make decisions accordingly.

Building Trust and Understanding:

Understanding the subtle yet crucial distinction between honesty and transparency has truly blown my mind and transformed my perspective on relationships. I now realize that while honesty forms the foundation of trust, transparency strengthens and deepens it. Both qualities are vital in cultivating strong and healthy connections.

Honesty breeds trust by ensuring that our words align with our actions. It reassures our partner that they can rely on us to be truthful, even in difficult predicaments. However, it is transparency that provides the context and information necessary for our partner to truly understand us. It helps us avoid misunderstandings, enables empathy, and allows for better decision-making in the long run.

Striking the Balance:

I’ve learned that striking a balance between honesty and transparency is essential to building genuine, fulfilling relationships. Honesty sets the groundwork for trust, but transparency takes it a step further by promoting open and honest communication. By embracing transparency, we create an environment where vulnerability and understanding can flourish. We enable our partners to see us authentically, free from hidden agendas or undisclosed information. This creates an environment of mutual respect and sincerity, strengthening the emotional bond between two people.

My therapist’s insightful question unearthed a world of nuance that never dawned on me before. Honesty and transparency may seem interchangeable at first glance, but their distinction is vital in building healthy relationships. Honesty establishes trust, while transparency deepens understanding. Together, they provide a solid base for lasting connections.

I’ll carry my newfound understanding in my heart as I continue to move forward. Honesty and transparency are vital for my partner and I to build trust, understanding, and open communication on our journey together. In the words of Michelle Obama, “Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.” May we all find the courage to pursue honesty and transparency, and may it lead us to the profound connections we deserve.

Blog, Personal, Reflections, Writing, Writing Prompts

Inkrement #17: Lessons Learned from Ignoring Red Flags

Posted on May 30, 2023 by T.L. Minor

Writing Prompt: Reflect on a past relationship where you ignored your intuition and the consequences that followed. Write a personal essay discussing what you learned from this experience and how it has influenced your trust in your intuition.
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Intuition knows when something is wrong. It’s our internal compass guiding us through life’s twists and turns. But what happens when we choose to ignore it? My world was already crumbling, and I couldn’t wrap my head around dealing with another crushing blow. By burying my doubts, I unknowingly set myself up for even greater devastation. In this personal essay, I want to share my experience of staying in a relationship, although I knew deep down I should’ve ended it.

I remember the moment I discovered my partner’s infidelity. It was days before my mother’s passing and my aunt’s death, three days after her funeral. During that time, I found myself torn between emotions I couldn’t fully process. My focus shifted to grieving for my loved ones, and my partner’s betrayal took a backseat in my overwhelmed mind. The world became a blur of funeral arrangements, tears, and unanswered questions. I knew the situation was fucked up, but I didn’t want to face the reality.

Grief messes with our heads, you know? It makes us do things we’ll kick ourselves for later. Amid my life falling apart, I brushed off those little gut feelings nudging me. I was like, “No way, I can’t handle any more shit right now.” I figured I’d tackle the relationship mess once the grief storm blew over. But little did I know, my intuition was getting restless, craving my attention. I stumbled through each day, time turning into a blur of chaos. Sure, my partner felt horrible and tried to make things right, but that nagging feeling in my gut just wouldn’t quit. We had agreed to start fresh and with no more solid evidence, I was stuck in a constant state of uncertainty, unable to trust his words.

Red flags, like seeds planted in the soil of our intuition, sprout into undeniable truths. They poke through the surface, demanding our attention, but we often brush them aside in favor of our comfort zone. I found myself trapped in a cycle of ignoring the warning signs that continued to present themselves. The red flags kept waving, but he skillfully sidestepped them, weaving a web of deception with his words. Finances can be a powerful force, shaping our decisions and trapping us in situations we want desperately to escape. With the cost of living skyrocketing, the thought of leaving the relationship became an unattainable joke. My job didn’t pay enough to live on my own. I didn’t have my parents’ home for refuge. My friends had their own lives and struggles to battle, so I didn’t want to be a burden to them or anyone else. I believed that staying was my only option. So I bit my tongue and tolerated the bullshit as I applied for hundreds of better-paying jobs. But as the years passed, the emotional toll grew heavier, and I withdrew into myself. My silence became a self-imposed prison. The weight of how I should’ve handled the situation trapped me. It clouded my view of a better future. Concealing my misery was a daily battle for normalcy.

You know how life works, right? Truth appears humorously at the right moment. Earlier this year, I had that moment. My partner and best friend kept an enormous secret from me. They had a one-night stand. Talk about a betrayal that cuts deep. It felt like someone took a butcher’s knife and stabbed it right into my heart, opening up all those old wounds and making me regret everything. My intuition had been screaming at me to wake up and smell the coffee, but I had let my fears, regrets, and financial situation blind me. Ignoring my gut had cost me years of happiness, authenticity, and self-respect.

After the whole truth came crashing down on me, I needed to find some sort of comfort. So, I turned to therapy and creative writing prompts for solace. It was during those moments of deep thought and self-reflection that I had a revelation. My gut feeling, my intuition, it was never wrong. The problem was me — I ignored it and refused to take action, and that’s what led me straight into a world of heartache and regret. If only I had trusted my instincts from the very beginning, I could have spared myself years of pain. But hey, no use crying over spilled milk, right? Instead, I’m making it my mission to focus on the most valuable lesson I’ve learned: listen to my intuition the very first time it whispers a warning. I’m embracing that little voice inside me and learning to heed its advice, even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient. Trusting my intuition has become an essential part of taking care of myself and growing as a person. It’s non-negotiable now.

As I reflect on the last three months since shit hit the fan, I acknowledge the pain and regret that accompany the choice to ignore my intuition. Life’s journey teaches us many lessons. Some learned through triumph. Others through regret. Not acting on my instincts in my last relationship tested my resilience and self-worth, but it also taught me the importance of self-trust.

While I can’t change the past, I can shape my future by embracing my intuition as a guiding force from here on out. I share my story, hoping others may find peace and inspiration in their own struggles. Please trust yourself and honor your inner voice. It knows what is best for you, even when things seem impossible. Follow your heart and learn from your experiences.

I chose this prompt because it hits close to home. We all have that little voice inside us, that gut feeling telling us when something isn’t quite right. And let me tell you, I ignored that voice in a last relationship, and Lord, did it come back to bite me. So, when I saw this prompt, it immediately resonated with me. Since I’m in a significantly better headspace right now, I wanted to write a personal essay about this experience. It’s embarrassing that I put myself in this predicament, but it is my life and I have to own up to it. Not only to hold myself accountable, but also to share what I’ve learned with others. Trusting our intuition is no joke, and I wanted to dive deep into how ignoring it affected me and how it’s permanently changed my perspective on listening to that inner voice.