Two months ago, I was experiencing the life of my dreams. I was engaged to a man who made it his mission in life to keep a smile on my face. My best friend and I were planning a girls’ weekend just for the two of us to relax, de-stress, and enjoy some much-needed quality time together. But that dream was shattered when I discovered that my fiancé and my best friend had a one-night stand behind my back and were plotting to hook up again. It was like a knife had been plunged into my heart, twisted it, then pulled it out to watch me bleed. It’s like I could literally feel myself shattering in the days that followed.
A betrayal of this magnitude is one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever had. It feels like I lost everything – my partner, my best friend, and the future I had imagined for myself. The pain has been overwhelming, and at times, it still feels like I have no way to process it.
But then, I re-discovered the power of creative writing. It was always a hobby of mine, but I lost my desire to pick up a pencil over the years. At first, I was hesitant to put my feelings down on paper. It felt too raw, too personal, and too damn painful. But then I realized that writing was the only way I could make sense of what had happened and process my emotions.
I started by writing in a journal, pouring out all my feelings. The rage, the hurt, the confusion, and the sadness. It was liberating to have a safe space where I could be completely honest and not worry about being judged or misunderstood. I found that the more I wrote, the more I was able to connect with my emotions and start to process them.
As I began to feel more comfortable with writing, I started experimenting with different forms of creative writing. I wrote poetry, a couple of spoken word pieces, and I finally began writing a novel I had in mind for years. I found that each form of writing allowed me to express myself in a different way, and I could explore different aspects of my pain and emotions.
One of the most incredible things about writing was that it has allowed me to process my pain through words. When I wrote, I was able to create a narrative that made sense of what happened and helped me find meaning in my pain. I found that writing gave me a sense of control over my emotions and attempt to make sense of what happened.
Writing also allowed me to reclaim my power. After the betrayal, I felt victimized, powerless, and helpless. But it gave me a way to take control of my story and turn it into something meaningful. It allowed me to explore my emotions, connect with my pain, and eventually find a way to heal.
I started therapy last month and talking to someone on a weekly basis has also been extremely helpful. But there’s something cathartic about putting pen to paper. Through it, I’ve started to process my pain, find hope in my trauma, and reclaim my power. It hasn’t been easy, and there are times when I want to give up. But each time I put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard, I feel like I am taking back control of my life.
The benefits of creative writing on mental health and well-being are well documented. Studies show that writing can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, improve mood, and increase self-awareness. But for me, it’s been an outlet – it’s been a lifeline.
If you are struggling with trauma or mental health issues, I really encourage you to try writing as a way to process your emotions. It’s scary as fuck to put your feelings down on paper or on a computer screen, but it can also be so liberating and empowering.
I will be referencing this particular experience throughout future blog entries. It’ll be bitter. It’ll be ugly. It’ll be redundant. But it’s why I’m doing this. To comprehend what occurred, come to terms with it, and move forward. If you made it through this rambling, I appreciate you. If you even choose to follow me, just a heads up of what’s in store.
Minor Inkrements 